


Machiavellian

by orphan_account



Category: Swapfell - Fandom, Underfell - Fandom, Underswap - Fandom, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Swapfell, Alternate Universe - Underfell, Alternate Universe - Underswap, Angst, F/M, Female Reader, Fluff, More tags will be added as the story progresses, Multi, Reader Has Secrets, Reverse Harem, Skeletons are lowkey trying to uncover said secrets, Slow Romance, Swapfell bros will arrive later, but probably not a lot of angst, no smut guys, reader is immortal, well sort of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-11-19 02:51:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 24,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11304201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It's been 7 years since the monsters reached the surface with the help of the child Ambassador, Frisk Dreemurr.You are Y/n L/n. The heiress of the Machiavelle Mansion and a Judge with powerful ties to both the human and monster governments. You had your life cut-out for you, you even extended that to the monsters when you helped them settle into the surface.Due to a program the human and monster governments created, and your loneliness, you opened your home to a family(?) of skeletons.It was barely a year until the peace of your mansion was disturbed by a string of strange and unfortunate events.(Probably not as angsty as it sounds)





	1. Yet Another Painting

**Author's Note:**

> Yesterday, you had shut yourself in your study due to mountains of paperwork you needed done. But today, you're spending the whole day with your housemates turned friends! 
> 
> Nicknames:  
> Undertale Sans - well, just Sans.  
> Undertale Papyrus - you guessed it! Papyrus  
> Underswap Sans - Blueberry  
> Underswap Papyrus - Hoodie  
> Underfell Sans - Red  
> Underfell Papyrus - Fell
> 
> Another pair of skeletons, and possibly more, will come later!  
> Also, feel free to drop by my Tumblr for questions. ^^  
> artemiselleartemiselle.tumblr.com

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You start your day with the usual interactions.
> 
> You're Y/n L/n, a girl living with 6 skeletons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yesterday, you had shut yourself in your study due to mountains of paperwork you needed done. But today, you're spending the whole day with your housemates turned friends!
> 
> Nicknames:  
> Undertale Sans - well, just Sans.  
> Undertale Papyrus - you guessed it! Papyrus  
> Underswap Sans - Blueberry  
> Underswap Papyrus - Hoodie  
> Underfell Sans - Red  
> Underfell Papyrus - Fell
> 
> Another pair of skeletons, and possibly more, will come later!  
> Also, feel free to drop by my Tumblr for questions. ^^  
> artemiselleartemiselle.tumblr.com

Beyond a large window, a lovely armada of grass twinkled under the rays of a sun that peeked out ever so shyly from behind the cloud-filled heavens. An array of flowers bloomed, each unique in color and design- iridescent. Tiny droplets of dew slid down from the waxy leaves of the plants, some had stayed as perfectly round orbs. It was a pleasant day outside. Had it not been for the window frames and the slight breeze that moved the greeneries, you would have thought you were looking at a painting. Each morning, to your delight, seemed to always bring you something nice to look at.  
  
Then, the voices of your coworkers invaded your mind.   
  
_‘As an esteemed and important judge, you had responsibilities you absolutely should NOT neglect!_ ’, tone it down a bit, Samantha.

‘ _A day without signing paperwork is a day that simply cannot happen_ ’, you said that yesterday, John!   
  
You worked with several governments as a judge and you did have a lot of things to do. But their nagging drove you insane. That’s why you took care of all of your responsibilities yesterday.

 

Half of it wasn’t even yours in the first place! Some lazy buttheads were getting a stern talking to next week for pawning off their work to you, you silently promised.

 

There was a mountain of paperwork that had to be done, and you had completed all (well, most) of them. You spent the whole day in your study, only coming out once or twice for food.  
  
You decided that your country wouldn’t suddenly grow legs, walk away from its spot near neighboring countries, and hide into the sea for solitude. So, you’re goofing off today.   
  
Well, that's what you told yourself anyways.   
  
You just wanted to spend time with your housemates, for at least one day. You even woke up earlier than usual.

  
After 10 minutes of staring at the familiar sight of spring before your thoughts were interrupted by voices outside your room.   
  
“HOODIE! HAND OVER THAT SMALL STICK OF CANCER IMMEDIATELY! YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT.”   
  
“Haha. Sorry, bro.”   
  
You smiled, swinging your feet to the edge of the bed. You're ready to start your day.   


* * *

  
  
  
"Is that the best you can do?" You taunted one of the tallest skeletons, Fell. Yes,  he’s a skeleton. He's the tallest of the 6 skeletons you live with and is either wearing a darkly themed suit of armor or dapper clothing. Even in some days where he doesn’t leave the mansion, he always seems prepared or well-dressed for anything.

"BE QUIET, YOU!" Fell retorted, crossing his arms. "AND DON'T TAUNT ME! I COULD EASILY HURT YOU WITH A FLICK OF A WRIST. I'M GOING EASY ON YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE ONLY A MERE HUMAN." He sneered. This morning, you had nearly forgotten that you had a sparring session with Fell today. You still want to spend time with your friends- but not with just him alone.  
  
To the ears of a stranger, his words would have sounded a little bit threatening and condescending.   
  
Well, it was.   
  
Fell is also one of two mean skeletons in the mansion. Your ears stung a little bit over his loud and scratchy voice, but you continued to banter with him anyway. You still don’t know how you’ve lived up to this point without having random patches of your hair go missing. You had a habit of playing with your hair when you're stressed,   
  
and Fell-induced stress is one of the most stressful stresses out there.   
  
However, he’s really just a charred marshmallow on a stick. His words may seem harsh, but you found that it had no real weight to them. You would have been dead by now if his threats were real. You also should have felt offended by his words, but you didn't want to encourage him. Your pride simply didn't let you falter under his words. But he can get quite difficult to tolerate at times. Especially when he’s yelling on the top of his metaphorical lungs in the morning.   


Your train of thought was interrupted as you heard a whoosh of air zip past your ear. That always was the indication that another wave of attacks were coming. Fell often sent warnings by throwing bone attacks close enough for you to feel the air being cut in half over your skin. Although, not once has his warnings hurt you. Perhaps that it's his way of being considerate?  
  
"FOCUS!" Fell called out, and you narrowly jumped out of the way before a flurry of bones whizzed through where you were previously standing. You dodged most of the attacks, probably out of fear more than skill. He didn't look worn out at all, even though he was using magic left and right. He usually pauses whenever you pause as well. You briefly entertained the thought that maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t as bad as you thought he was.   
  
  
Oh, scratch that thought. The moment you stumbled back to recover, Fell swiped a bone over your ankles and made you trip. You plop down on the grass, glaring at him.   
  
“NYAHAHAHAHA!”, he cackled. Ugh.   
  
  
On some days, you had morning battles with Fell. It started out as an attempt to connect to him when it had been weeks since he moved in, when you noticed he didn't seem to want to socialize. He and his brother, Red, avoided you as if you were a plague. So, you hesitantly tried to befriend him by challenging him to a battle. Sans told you that Fell that he used to be captain of the Royal Guard in a different part of the underground at some point. Wasn’t the captain someone named Undyne? There were still lots more to learn about monster kind, you supposed.   
  
Apparently, a friendly 'sparring' meant 'WAR OF TWO OPPOSING AUTHORITIES' for Fell. Because after that proposal, he really went out of his way to set up traps in the mansion and hunt you down for the next few days. Sometimes, your food would have sharp things in it, the rooms in your home would have all kinds of traps, Fell would jump out of a random room and chase you down until Sans or someone else saved you, and you would find that some of your personal belongings had been placed on very high shelves, out of your reach. The last part annoyed you a LOT.   
  
Eventually, he started to be less murderous and treated the hunting more like a hangout. The other skeletons were getting less amused at his antics by then and it took you a full month and more before you could confidently assure yourself there would be no rusty nails hiding in your morning coffee. Even today, sometimes he, along with his brother, still messed with you and tried to make you miserable. But it was a good thing Papyrus or someone else in the kitchen would keep an eye on the two deviants before they try to slip something weird into your food. You also weren’t very happy about the mess he left on the mansion, so you moved to the garden.   
  
But hey. You benefitted from it, you've become more fit over the past few months. The intimidating presence that Fell and his brother also faded over time.

  
  
After a few more waves of attacks, you sat down on the ground with exhaustion.

"TCH. YOU COULD HAVE DONE BETTER!" Well, that's the probably closest thing to a compliment that Fell will ever say.

"OF COURSE YOU'D LOSE AGAINST SOMEONE WITH POWER, SUCH AS MYSELF. OTHERS COME BEGGING JUST TO ENGAGE IN A BATTLE WITH ME. YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL!" Aaaaand, here comes the narcissism.  
  
"Aww, you make me blush with your compliments! C'mere and give me a hug!”, you beamed, your tone saccharine as you raised your arms in the air invitingly.

~~_Come here so I can flick you on the forehead or something, before I get even more sore._ ~~

  
"A HUG? WHA-- OH. ARE YOU.. MOCKING ME?! C-CEASE YOUR TAUNTING! OR I-I'LL, I'LL-!" Fell's face turned into a bright shade of crimson. Oh, here comes the verbal set of attacks. You let his words go from one ear and exit another. He scowled and turned around, silently monologuing his flushness away.  
  
You learned that he actually wasn't as quiet as he seemed to be. He was actually a really, really talkative person. He was condescending and liked praise, to put it bluntly. You usually wouldn't stick with people like that, but you're bound to a contract with him.   
  
"THIS INSUFFERABLE HUMAN IS VEXING..." you overhear him monologue.  
  
You did learn to maneuver around his insults by flustering him, with compliments or flirting. He would turn red, stop, and either sputter noises of outrage or bite back 10 times louder. You took those moments as an opportunity to make a hasty escape.  
  
  
Fell seemed to have recollected himself already and was about to turn around when another skeleton shuffled closer.    
  
"hey, fell." Sans' casual yet flat tone interrupted the flurry of threats that Fell was about to come up with. The shorter skeleton seemed to have mysteriously popped in from out of nowhere.   
  
Sans seemed to be the disciplinarian of their group. Despite his lazy and casual demeanor, he was authoritative.  You, Sans, and Papyrus had known each other even before you had asked them to move into your mansion as part of a program of sorts. The King and Queen cooperated with this country’s government and had made a sort of program for some humans who were able to open their homes to monsters. You immediately asked if Sans and Papyrus wanted to move in before you got signed off to a contract with… Jerry. _Shudder_. There was no way you were going to agree with cheesy-dorito-fingers.

  
Plus, it was really just you living in the huge place. Your housekeeper, Josephine, wasn't very talkative and went home to her own house before nightfall. It can get lonely and quiet without the skeletons.  
  
  
Even though you’ve known Sans for more than a year, you don't really know much about him. He would often make a pun and divert the attention elsewhere whenever you try to get to know him better. Sans had brought along his brother, Papyrus. The 4 others moved in at later dates, Sans claimed that they were his relatives. At first it was just Sans and Papyrus, then Fell and Red followed, and finally, Blueberry and Hoodie.  
  
"uh, y/n? you there?", Sans’ voice interrupted my train of thought. You immediately recollected yourself and perked up.

 

"Huh? Oh. Y-Yes, I'm fine." you blurted out. Smooth, y/n, smooth.  
  
"pap's has been looking for you all morning. 'said he wanted to show you somethin'.", Sans drawled, the pinpricks on his sockets eyed me curiously.

"quit skulking around and go find Paps before you rattle his bones." Sans' jovial grin widens.  
  
You and Fell groaned, though you didn't really mind the pun.  
  
"heheheheh." Sans is pleasant to joke around with, that’s how you easily got along with him. He can be low-key giddy about puns. It’s like he has a never-ending supply of them.  
  
You glanced at the mansion, through the windows you could see a grandfather clock. It was past 10 already. You were glad it was, you were really starting to feel sore.  
  
  
"HA! AS IF I'LL LET YOU GET AWAY BEFORE I WIN-"   
  
  
Fell's taunting was cut short after you lightly tapped him on the shoulder with a bone you plucked off the ground while he was speaking.  
  
"I win, I managed to hit you once.", you announced, trying to suppress your smugness. Fell looked ready to complain, but you had already walked past him and into the house after promptly bidding them goodbye.  
  
  
  
  
"MISS Y/N! MISS Y/N! I MADE YOU AND THE OTHERS PARFAIT FOR DINNER SINCE YOU TOLD ME YOU LIKED THEM! THERE'S ALSO SPAGHETTI, LASAGNA- YOUPROBABLYSHOULDN'TEATIT,IT'SPROBABLYPOISIONED, AND TACOS, AND OTHER THINGS!", another skeleton approached you, beaming.  
  
In what should be hollow sockets in the image of death were stars that shone with never-ending youth and glee. This skeleton easily defies the stereotypical grim reaper look. You and the skeletons called him Blue, his eyes were the nicest shade of the colour. You and his brother, Hoodie, sometimes call him 'Blueberry' or 'Baby Blue' because of his childlike demeanor, but it was a term of endearment. Blue and Hoodie were the last to move in. He was always so energetic and dynamic. He wears the cute clothes. He will deny that it is cute, but he mostly wears his signature blue armor and bandanna. You suspect he actually likes the babying.  
  
  
Wait, did he mention parfait? Ooh. You liked where this is going.  
  
"Blue, it's too early for dinner." you stated, lightly amused over his excitement. He had already grabbed your hand and started leading me towards the kitchen. The walk from that side of the mansion was quite long, but it only felt like minutes as Blue kept a conversation going on the way. In no time, the kitchen doors were only a fair few steps away.  
  
  
"MISS Y/N, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" Ah, the difficult question.  
  
"I am? Why wouldn't I be?"  
  
"OH, IT'S JUST THAT YOU'VE BEEN ACTING WEIRD." Blue said.  
  
"How so?", you tilted your head to the side.  
  
  
Blue had a thoughtful look on his face. "YOU'RE QUIETER THAN USUAL."   
  
".. But I've been talking? Also, I prefer the term 'reserved'". You bunch your shoulders up in defense.   
  
Blueberry stopped walking and faced you. The gentle light of the sun illuminated the hallways. It made this scene look more theatrical and dramatic. You had always adored how there were lots of windows in this mansion. But you had no time to spare for musing as the short skeleton before you had noticed a concerned look on his face.  
  
"Why were you locked up in your study yesterday?" This was one of the only moments where his usually energetic and happy voice would die down into something quieter and more serious. The cute little stars on his eyes disappeared, giving him a more dull look in those blue pinpricks within his sockets. Your heart felt a little heavy at this.  
  
"Blue, I was doing paperwork. You know, law related stuff?" you said, furrowing your brows in confusion. You genuinely wondered why would be upset over something you did regularly.  
  
"YOU WERE PACING BACK AND FORTH THE WHOLE DAY TOO," Don’t you always pace?  
  
“RUNNING YOUR HANDS THROUGH YOUR HAIR AND MESSING IT UP,” Okay, you were a bit stressed.  
  
“AND YOU STARTED MAKING FUNNY FACES WITH A MIRROR.” Wait. How does he know that?!  
  
  
You felt your face slightly warm up. Goofing off in front of a mirror was your secret stress reliever. Making silly faces provided you with a break from all the seriousness.

Blue only came into the study once to check on you, after being driven nuts by the clicking noises your staplers made every 5 seconds. Maybe he saw you through your window too. That’s a bit embarrassing.  
  
“Blue, that’s what people do to relieve stress.” you simply stated.

“I wasn’t even that stressed out!”  
  
“YOU, UM, LOOKED LIKE YOU WERE HAVING AN INTENSE MENTAL BREAKDOWN. ALL DAY.” Blue retorted.  
  
I sighed. “Well, it’s over now and I can rest. Please, don’t worry.” you reassured as sincerely as you can, Blue looked like he was about to cry. Or maybe that's how he usually looks like. But the stars returned to his eyes sockets as you both entered the kitchen. Another skeleton was there to greet you, Papyrus. Blue was back to being a ball of energy.  
  
  
"OH, GOOD MORNING, MISS Y/N! I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU ALL DAY. SANS DIDN'T SLACK OFF ON TELLING YOU THAT, DID HE?" You shook your head.  
  
"BLUE! WE NEED ONE MORE PARFAIT, ONE FOR RED." Papyrus stated. I saw a flicker of mischief in Blue's expression.  
  
  
  
Last week, Blueberry was in a bad mood. He wept over a spider in the mansion that Red squashed. He lamented over the fact he couldn't save the 'creepy but innocent' bug in time, and Red called him something along the lines of ‘a weak lil' baby bones’. Red made fun of Blue until Hoodie walked in on them. Needless to say, he and Hoodie had a short but intense conversation on how to not make precious skeletons cry.  
  
Blue may seem like a pure hearted monster, but nope! He has a tendency to seek vengeance, through pranks of course. No one but the unsuspecting victim would ever suspect him of it.  
  
The skeleton gleefully walked over and opened the fridge, taking out a Parfait. It looked delicious, if you were to avoid the fact that it was drizzled with lots mustard. Red loved the stuff.

"THIS ONE'S FOR RED." Blue simply stated. You knew there had to be something wrong with the treat.

  
But hey, it's Red. He does a lot of ass-hattery. Who were you to stop karma?

  
  
"AH! I SEE, THAT'S JUST ABOUT IT THEN." Papyrus stayed completely oblivious, you would have too, since Blue was pretty good at feigning innocence.   
  
"Is there anything I can help you guys with?" you asked, glancing at the food on the kitchen countertop. You spotted Fell's lasagna.

  
... Is that glass sticking out of it?

  
  
"NOT REALLY, BUT I DO HAVE SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU. WE'RE DONE MAKING OUR CULINARY MASTERPIECES!" Papyrus announced, striking a pose of pride.

"HEY, WAIT. THIS IS FOR DINNER!" Blue pouted.

  
While they spoke, you grabbed a pair of tongs and started to pick the shards of glass off the lasagna. There's probably little bits of it everywhere, but you unfortunately couldn't do much about that. 

  
"UM, NO. I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S FOR LUNCH." Papyrus asserted, but he looked confused with himself.   
  
  
You let the two banter for a while, knowing that an argument wouldn’t erupt between them. An argument never starts with Papyrus, he always knows a way to turn things around and diffuse the situation. His friendliness and charisma is enough to turn the tides. A conversation with him is sure to go pleasantly. Even Red and Fell would stop being so abrasive around him. Though, maybe one look over Sans had a hand in that too. His smile would turn stiff and forced if the edgy skeletons became too rude, You didn’t get how that intimidated them. Sans wouldn’t hurt a fly even if he found the energy for it.   
  
  
"THIS IS FOR DINNER! WE HAVE TO MAKE MORE FOR LUNCH, SO WE CAN SAVE THIS FOR LATER WHEN WE GO EAT IN THE GARDEN TO SEE THE STARS!" Blue said. Hm, that does sound pretty nice. Food and scenery, yum.   
  
  
You have taken as much glass as you can from the lasagna. Let's hope you don't bleed internally. Fell’s food was good.. but it often had sharp things in it. He claims it's to train his brother in pain tolerance. Red actually eats his food, too. Yikes.   
  
  
"BUT BLUE, WE CANNOT SERVE FOOD THAT'S NOT HOT AND NEW! WE CAN JUST MAKE ANOTHER BATCH OF THESE LATER." Papyrus suggested.   
  
"YEAH, BUT THESE ONES ARE SPECIAL!" Blue huffed.   
  
"HM, YOU'RE RIGHT. SHOULD WE DIVIDE THEM IN HALF SO HALF OF IT CAN BE EATEN AT LUNCH AND THEN THE OTHER HALF AT DINNER?"

"GREAT IDEA, PAPYRUS! OH! THERE SHOULD BE ONE FOR A MID-AFTERNOON SNACK AS WELL. LET'S DIVIDE THEM AGAIN." Blue beamed.  
  
"DON'T FORGET THE PRE-DINNER SNACKS OUR BROTHERS HAVE TOO. WE'll HAVE TO DIVIDE EACH INTO FOUR HALVES NOW."   
  
"GREAT! I'LL GET THE KNIVES."   
  
"Hey guys, why don't we just eat these for lunch?" you saw Blue readying to plead for reconsideration,

 

"and go out for the day?" you suggested, before the food get's divided. The two skeletons perk up, interested.  
  
"We can go eat lunch in the garden, then spend the day outside the mansion. There's also a spot on Mount Ebbot that's perfect for stargazing too, it's has a better view. Let's keep Parfaits cool off in the fridge for now and eat the rest for lunch. After dinner, we should drive up the mountain and eat our parfaits there."  
  
"HMM.. ALRIGHT, MISS Y/N!" Blue complied, putting the knives he took back onto their sheaths. You smiled at them, watching as Papyrus and Blue took as much food as they can carry out to the hallways, they were chatting away with giddiness.  
  
  
“OH! MISS Y/N, WE STILL TIME BEFORE LUNCH, WOULD YOU LIKE TO LOOK AT SOME PUZZLES WITH ME?” Blue asked, eyes sparkling with expectancy.  
  
“THAT’S A GREAT IDEA, BLUE! WE SHOULD DO THAT.” Papyrus beamed.  
  
Blue looked ready to complain, he might have meant just the two of you. But you didn’t feel like grinding your brain with puzzles today.  
  
  
“Sorry, guys. You go on ahead, I have some things to take care of.”, you lied, knowing that it often helped you weasel out of a situation. They knew you were usually a busy person, you used it to your advantage.

Blue looked hesitant, but Papyrus reassured him that there will always be time for puzzles later. Blue perked and the two of them had fortunately left. You were now alone in the kitchen  
  
  
.. Also, you feel like you’re forgetting something?   
  
Ah, yes. Papyrus wanted to show you something, but it must have slipped his mind because of the little food dilemma.   
  
  
  
You shrugged, walking out of the kitchen and into hallways. As you made a turn, you spotted 4 of 6 skeletons outside.. Is Sans bleeding? Oh, no. It’s just ketchup, carry on. You didn't see Red or Hoodie with them, maybe they were still sleeping?   
  
Hoodie probably isn't asleep. Red.. Well, Red, simply put, is an ass hat. He can be rather vulgar and likes to make jokes, like Sans. However, he makes more dirty innuendos than puns.   
  
  
"ey sweetheart, busy thinkin' of me?" Speak of the devil and he appears, purring at you.   
  
  
You stopped walking and faced Red who was leaning on a door frame near you. He grinned maliciously, though you had learned that it’s just his normal look. It’s either that, or he’s scowling and looking pissed. 

When you two met, you got into a fight. You kind of neglected the moving-in papers for Red and Fell, trusting that you didn’t have to do a background check, since Sans and Papyrus knew them, and immediately signed your consent. You didn't know what they were like until he decided to pop in, uninvited. He was in your garden late at night and you wanted to get some fresh air after binging on your paperwork. You thought he was going to abduct you in your own home, or worse, kill you there. That same grin he wears on his face now alarmed you back then.  
  
In your defense, he should have just greeted you with a normal hello than with a ' _heyyyy, sugar, looking for some fun?_ '. It sounded like something a creepy kidnapper would say! Maybe you wouldn't have tried to break his arm if he just said a simple 'hello'.  
  
After the incident, Red wasn’t too upset but was bitter enough to avoid you for a couple of days. It became an ongoing joke that he didn't find your reaction very ' _humerus_ ', as Sans would say. Eventually, he seemed to have recovered and started talking to you after Fell did.  
  
  
You let a grin stretch across your face. "Why? Are you thinking about me?", you retorted. Red's toothy smirk grew, he started to creep closer to you.  
  
One of the things that's good about Red, is that once you get to know him better, there will be an amusing contest to fluster the other. His inappropriate comments seems to be his usual way of talking. It may be a bit of an extreme way of communicating, sometimes you even had to physically defend yourself against some of his advances, but it was Red's way.  
  
  
"heheh. you didn’t say no, is that a yes?”, he was leaning closer, invading your personal bubble. You step back but tried to hold the saccharine expression on your face, he chuckled at that.  
  
Red isn't easily ticked off or bothered, and you usually are the same. Which means that you don’t stress over what you say to him. Red often brushes your agitation off or laughs at it, and then casually turns your last sentence against you in some way. It's slightly annoying, but he's resilient, you’ll give him that.

  
“no, seriously. 'yer deep in thought over there, must be me, right?" Red jested, however it seemed like he was anticipating something. You can’t quite wrap your head around what it is that he’s expecting, unless he clarifies. You gave him a small smile and shook your head.

"The others are preparing for lunch in the garden, you should join them, Red."

  
Everybody seems to be thinking you’re acting odd lately. You make a mental note to address that issue later.   
  
  
"say.. we still have a'lotta time before lunch. how's a bout a quick... de-stressing?" Red raised his brow.. bone, bone brow? suggestively. Skeletons don't have hair, so let's just call it that.   
  
"Red, that's indecent." you deadpanned. If you gave him a hint that you were bothered by his words, you can never walk away with him following and teasing you in tow.

"hah, just kiddin', kitten. i'll see ya 'round.", and with that you waved at him and carried on. You could feel him staring at you until you made a turn.  
  
With no definite destination in mind, you decided that you should drop by your study and check on a few documents.

  
  
  
You spotted Hoodie standing before the door. He seems to be waiting, lost in his own sea of thoughts. It seems like you can never get through this house without running into one of your housemates.  
  
You stealthily crept up to him and reached out to tap him on the shoulder. You hoped to catch him off guard, but even when he's distracted, he always seems to be very aware of what's around him. He caught your hand midway and turned around with a grin.  
  
"Not today, y/n." He winked, letting go of your hand to place his own into his pockets. You feigned disappointment by puffing up your cheek. Hoodie’s grin grew.  
  
Hoodie was Blue's brother. Unlike Blue who had an endless supply of energy, Hoodie was withdrawn and calm. The guy always seemed like he was sleepy, and he probably is. Hoodie has sleeping problems. The first time you noticed, you thought it was because he was not yet comfortable sleeping in a new place. But weeks passed by and you realized that he regularly had trouble sleeping. You have known Sans longer than him, but it seems like you knew Hoodie more. Whenever he has trouble sleeping, he drops by the library to read something. On one day, he’s reading shoujo manga, then in the next, he’ll be looking at something like the chemistry notes you had from high school. He’d point out your mistakes and tease you for it. You would run into him once or twice whenever you worked late. Often, you would slack off on your responsibilities to chat with him and get to know him better. Signing documents can be boring! But as a result, you were closer with Hoodie than with the others.   
  
"i was just about to break into your study to see if you've fallen asleep in there again. i've gotta say, i'm proud of you, you finally learned how to be lazy like me. congrats." Hoodie ruffled your hair.  
  
“I'm not lazy! I work very hard to make sure all my work is done by morning." you feigned being hurt. Hoodie's tired grin turned more genuine.  
  
"oh, is that so? let's see how many documents you finished signing off then."  
  
You rolled your eyes at him. Hoodie can be rather inquisitive and high maintenance when it came to his brothers wellbeing. Somewhere along the lines, his little wellfare checks extended to you. He'd find ways to see if you’re getting enough sleep or if you had eaten, often without directly asking you. Sometimes you don't notice that either, but you admire how he cares more for others than himself. Plus, he’s pretty peasant to be with, and doesn’t demand too much- he’s just there to talk.  
  
He was also there to snoop, you didn't really like that he did that. You didn't know why he would be so on to you and your work, but it made you wary of him. You always made sure to secure the documents that were very confidential.   
  
  
You half-heartedly rolled your eyes at Hoodie as you opened the door to your study. Presenting it with an extended arm.  
  
  
"Ta-da."  
  
  
Your study isn't the neatest place in the mansion, it's usually very cluttered. In most days, the files on the cabinets are often strewn about and there would be papers everywhere. Pens would be scattered on the floor and would hide under the papers, a hazard for anyone who may enter. Hoodie could easily maneuver away from them, but you sometimes would slip on your own mess. He’d always comment on how you’re 'the _butt_ of the jokes.'  
  
But today wasn’t ‘most days’. Today, your study is as neat as it can be. You read somewhere that cleaning was a way to relieve stress, you supposed that was true. You feel your eyes glaze over as you become lost in thought. Sigh. In no time, this study will probably be drowning you in work again.  
  
  
Then, Hoodie whistled. He raised his brows, which he did not really have?, and scanned the room. "Heh. You actually cleaned, that's new."  
  
You crossed your arms and grinned, "Of course I clean. Not everybody can be as messy as you." You turned around to check for the last document you were working on last night. Hoodie quietly ghosted behind you, the snooper.  
  
You opened an envelope that sat on your desk and paled after seeing it. Then, you felt your cheeks warm up after hearing Hoodie break into laughter, clutching his stomach.  
  
... You had doodled each of your skeleton housemates on the document you were supposed to present to the King and Queen.  
  


* * *

  
  
  
"AH. MISS Y/N, THERE YOU ARE!" Papyrus called out. He was wearing an apron and was making spaghetti in a grill, the sauce was slowly oozing onto the fires and feeding it. You silently hope that your precious flowers won’t be set aflame.   
  
You elected to stay in your office alone for a few more minutes to calm down when Hoodie left for lunch in the garden. You saw him lightly snickering at you from his seat at the garden pavilion.   
  
It was nice. That pavilion had slowly been withering away and aging before they came here. Now, it's become an occasional lunch area.   
  
  
"WE'VE BEEN WAITING ALL MORNING, WRETCH. HURRY UP AND EAT." Fell hollered at me, tapping his foot on the ground impatiently.   
  
"PAPPY, YOU NEED TO SLOW DOWN. YOUR FOOD WAS GONE THE MOMENT YOU GOT IT- OH HI MISS Y/N!" Blue seemed to be berating his brother, Hoodie, who was slumped over his chair. Indeed, the tacos on the orange-clad skeleton’s play were mostly gone. He didn't seem to be bothered by his brother's chastising.   
  
You briefly waved at Blue. He had a habit of calling Hoodie ‘Pappy’. You wondered if it was a nickname related to ‘Papyrus’, monsters weren’t known for creativity when it comes to names. You let your curiosity fade.   
  
Sans met your eyes and nodded in greeting. He then turned to crack a few puns, much to Papyrus’ dismay. Papyrus was looking more and more like he was going to detonate with each pun.   
  
Red had scampered over the cooler for a drink. Wait. Those were _your_ drinks, you were saving that!   


Luckily, Fell noticed this and promptly plucked him away from it. Thank the gods. He held Red off the ground by his fur-lined hood. Red started to sweat, an anxious grin stretched across his skull as his taller sibling gave him a reprimanding look.  
  
You stopped to observe and let the scene unfold. It's so nice to have company in the mansion!   
  
You let a small, genuine smile bloom on your face.  
  
The skeletons then noticed that you made no move towards the food, so you walked over and sat down. Okay... Fell's reprimanding Red for escaping his meal. You decided to take this as an opportunity to leave the glass-speckled lasagna for last.   
  
Papyrus had set down a plate of grilled spaghetti around the table. Suddenly, the large table seemed smaller as everybody gathered around for lunch. Sans was still coming up with puns, Hoodie looked amused as he held a bottle of honey over Blueberry who was trying to take it away, Fell had sat down with an indignant look on his face as per usual, and Red looked ready to gobble up the food. You still wonder if he's affected by the glass shards at all, he seems rather content to be eating the lasagna. At least in front of Fell. The table also had big bottles of condiments plus honey. Sans seemed to like ketchup a lot, Red adored mustard, and Hoodie's honey bottle was already half empty. Quirky traits.  
  
You were content just watching them interact before you. Though, it didn't take too long before you joined in and laugh at their antics. Something lit up inside each of their sockets, whenever you genuinely laughed. You often wonder what that meant.  
  
  
  
Today, you’re spending all of your time with your friends. Your garden had a pleasant assortment of colorful flowers which the sun had accentuated with it’s light. It's a perfect day outside, almost like a painting. Unique, iridescent, and yet,  
  
  
eerily familiar.

  
  
A shadow briefly passed by your expression. But you had masked it before anybody had taken note of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited on July 7, 2017 because of silly typos. Nothing in the chapters change when I edit, just the choice of words.
> 
> Feel free to critique my writing! ^^


	2. Just a normal day out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and your skele-buddies continue to hang out. However, you receive a call and get roped into more work. The six skeletons overhears this and decides to take matters into their own hands. Despite the fun, you still can't help but feel something nagging at you. No, it's not your workaholic tendencies this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I still am trying to figuring the formatting and spacing in Ao3, things might look wonky for now. Also, I had gone back to make a few edits, I noticed quite a few typos in the first chapter.
> 
> Also, the purpose of the first few chapters of this fanfiction is to give you hints as to what y/n and the skeletons' lives were like before major plot events happen. I'm also trying to establish a sense of mundanity. I'm trying to balance the interactions between characters too, they all need to be loved!

 You had managed to eat the food that Blue, Fell, and Papyrus made. You didn’t eat too much of the food, but it was enough to make you slightly queasy. Their choice of ingredients were.. Extraordinary. But that was something for you to address some other day.

All 7 of you had went out for an afternoon stroll downtown. Almost everyone in the household had their own vehicle, but it seemed tedious to bring more than two of them. Hoodie elected to go with Blueberry in his beetle. Red went with them too, though he didn’t seem too chipper about riding in the cute but small car. Which meant that you’re riding with Sans, Papyrus and Fell. Papyrus offered to drive all four of you in his convertible. You spent the majority of the ride talking with Papyrus while you let your hair run free in the wind, whipping and snapping at Fell who sat beside you. You may or may not have made him endure that torture. Sans spent the whole ride dozing off.

It didn’t take long until the convertible was pulled over to a parking lot, the whole group had also met up.

 

“UGH FINALLY.” Fell was the first to step out of the car.

“I CAN DISTANCE MYSELF FROM YOUR INFERNAL LOCKS.” he glares at you, indeed distancing himself a few steps from you. You can’t help but feel a slightly evil smirk briefly play on your lips.

“WE’RE ALL HERE! GREAT, WE SHOULD GO VISIT SOME SHOPS!” Blueberry bounded closer to us. Red and Hoodie followed close behind him. 

“did we miss anything?” Hoodie ambled closer to his brother. Red on the other hand, walked up to you.  

“heyy if it isn't m’favorite human.” You fight the urge to back away.  

“Heyyy if it isn’t the skeleton who stands too close.” you slightly lean away from Red beside you. His toothed grin grew, but he backed away at your retort.

“I AM JUST EXCITED FOR THIS OUTING! WE DON’T GET TO SPEND MUCH TIME TOGETHER. THIS IS A WONDERFUL OPPORTUNITY FOR US TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER!” Papyrus clasped his gloved hands together.

“WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? FAVORITE PET? I LIKE ALL ANIMALS!” aww. 

“HA. ONLY A FOOL WOULD ASK ANYONE FOR INFORMATION. THE BEST WAY TO KNOW SOMEONE IS TO OBSERVE THEIR BEHAVIOR.” Fell interjected. While he did rudely bring that up, you silently agreed with the second part of his statement.

Blue was practically oscillating on the spot as he talked of the places he wanted to go to today. Papyrus was also excited to visit those places, while suggesting places he wanted to visit as well. Fell also joined in their banter by saying that he too had important places to visit. Unfortunately, you don’t know this city enough to recognize some of those places. Sans was trying to slip as many puns as he can in between Papyrus' words, Hoodie was also actively conversing with him with his own puns. Red was fueling Fell's ego by complimenting him on his plans. 

 

While your skele-buddies conversed, your phone started to ring, you fish it out from your pockets and see a caller ID. It’s one of the senior police officers. Red took notice of this as well, since he was the one walking closest with you. 

“work eh? better tend to that, sweetheart. ‘ya wouldn’ wanna miss out on th’ stress.” he jokingly says.

Your walking pace had slowed down. The skeletons didn’t seem to mind that, but they did stop walking to wait for you. They continue to talk without skipping a beat. You turn around and accept the call. 

“Y/n L/n speaking, hello?” you almost didn't hear the voice on the other end, so you switch to speaker mode. The voice will surely get lost in the bustling of downtown if you don't increase the volume. 

“Y/n, dear? It’s me, Lola.”, a woman’s voice rang, she sounds familiar. Lola.. Lola? You vaguely remember meeting a Lola at some dinner party. Agh, how you hate not remembering people properly.

“What can I help you with, Ma’am?”, you hesitantly inquire.

“I’m calling in for a favor. We’re in need for officers after a car chase that happened earlier today.” the woman states.

“Before you say anything, yes. I’m aware you’re not an officer anymore, but we have our hands full right now. I remember that you’re more than qualified.”

 

Aaaand more work.  

 

“It won’t be anything difficult, we simply need you to patrol downtown and deal with suspicious persons. You don’t have to be in uniform.” Lola states. “You’re free to say no. I’m sure we can find someone else.” Ah, that’s nice of her to offer. 

You look back at your friends, still enamored in the idea of an outing. While you truly did want to spend the whole day just having fun with the skeletons without even thinking of work, the depraved workaholic in you is nagging for you to accept Lola’s request. Plus, you were sure if you did come across any incidents today, you would have dealt with them anyways. 

“Alright, that can be arranged. I am there right now.” you accepted the work.  

“Fantastic, dear! That is all, stay safe.” The call ends. 

And that was how you, as well as the six skeletons who heard your call, got roped into more work.

 

Today was a weekday, so there weren’t many people around- perfect. You hoped that with less people, there will be little to no incidents today. But then again, you wouldn’t really mind dealing with the action. You especially hoped that there won’t be any ethnocentrics that’ll bother you or your friends. A part of you is mildly perturbed. If anti-monster extremists aren’t here, that means they’re elsewhere causing trouble.  

 

You’re only half correct. A few incidents occurred today. Most of which, you didn’t even know happened.

 

You and your skeletal companions were strolling through the streets. You were glad you lived here, downtown was an odd but appealing mix of unique shops, places to eat, and recreational centers to have fun in. The scent of cinnamon and pumpkin spice wafts through the air as you passed by a bakery filled with sweet, spider-filled goodies. You have to remind yourself to visit that new monster bakery that claims to revolve around spiders, you heard their sweets were good.

“sooo. where to first, paps?” Sans asks. Papyrus gains a thoughtful look on his face.

“HMM. ACTUALLY, WE SHOULD LET MISS Y/N CHOOSE FIRST, SINCE SHE WAS WORKING VERY DILIGENTLY ALL DAY YESTERDAY! YOU MUST WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE, RIGHT MISS Y/N?” Papyrus turns to you, aw that’s thoughtful.

You paused, where _do_ you want to go today? Pet shop? No, the last time you all went there, people thought you owned the skeletons as pets. What about a souvenir shop? Nah. It wasn’t necessary to buy souvenirs in a city you lived in.

Something dripped down the side of your face, had you thought so hard that you started to sweat? Oh, no it was just the weather. It was cool enough for you to opt for a comfy sweatshirt this morning, but now it was getting less comfortable to wear the thing. It had gotten warmer.

“Let’s go find a place I can buy clothes from. I wanna change.” you say, tugging on the hem of your sweatshirt. “I’m not picky, we can go anywhere that’s near.”

There was a brief spark of something in your friends’ sockets, they glance at each other. You tilted your head to the side, observing them.

“heh, if that’s the case, that shop has pretty sweet stuff.” Hoodie speaks up, pointing at a shop across the street. 

“.. Hoods, that’s a honey confectionery.” you state, furrowing your brows. “.. They sell clothes now?” you wonder aloud, you’re skeptical but think that it’s not impossible. 

“hmm, sure.” Hoodie chuckled at your gullibility.

“they have _bee_ utiful stuff in there.”

Blueberry groaned in annoyance at his brother’s pun.

“MISS Y/N, I KNOW A SUPER CUTE SHOP NEARBY. I THINK ANYTHING FROM THERE WOULD SUIT YOU!” He beams.

“hey, sweetheart. how’sa ‘bout we check out the nearest _lingerie_ sh--”

“- HAH! AS IF. THIS WOMAN WOULD STOOP LOWER THAN THAT, NOT IF I CAN HELP IT. EXTRAVAGANCE IS ALWAYS THE FITTING OPTION, DESPITE THE FACT SHE BARELY MEETS THE STANDARDS FOR IT.” Fell derides. Okayyy, that’s a bit harsh.

Oddly, Papyrus and Sans were the only ones who didn’t suggest anything. Papyrus didn’t even react to Hoodie’s puns. He and Sans seemed to be having some sort of telepathic conversation you could not hear. But it seems like they’ve come to a silent agreement, Papyrus turns to you with a bright smile.

“WHY DON’T WE VISIT ALL OF THOSE SHOPS?” Papyrus suggested, hiding his hands behind his back.

“yeah. that way she has options.” Sans added. Hey, it seems like you won't have to fuss over what to do next for a while.

“A great idea from a great skeleton- let’s go do that.” You voiced. Sans’ grin grew, you noticed he does that whenever Papyrus was complimented.

“MISS Y/N, MY IDEA IS GREAT TOO RIGHT?” Blue searched your eyes for reassurance. 

“Of course,” you say, smiling at him. You briefly wonder why Blueberry needed your reassurance. Was he being doubtful of himself?

“Let’s visit your shop first actually.” Blue piped up at the proposal.

“welp. better get going then.” Sans drawled.

 

The first stop was a dainty little shop named 'Fuku’s Fashion'. It was pastel colored and had an adorable set of clothes displayed on the window. There was a neatly handwritten sign that read ‘ _Adorable Clothes for Adorable People!’_ on the window. A green fire elemental wearing a girly school uniform seemed to be manning the counter.

 

 “OOH! HERE IT IS, LET’S ENTER MISS Y/N!” Blueberry said as he opened the door to the shop. A bell chimed as it did.

“oh hell no!” Red frowned. “i ain’t goin’ to that girly hell house.”

“WELL. YOU DON’T HAVE TO RED, YOU CAN STAY HERE.” Papyrus reassures.

“hah. right, wouldn’ wanna be n’ that gross girly hell.” His ideas of what’s gross and what’s not seems to be upside-down.

 

You all had started to file in, but you noticed Fell didn’t make a move to enter as well. He had his back turned to you as he busied himself with stiffly surveying the streets. You figure that he wouldn’t like cutesy things too as you enter the shop. The bell chimes once more as you shut it after you entered.

 

“Hello there!” The fire elemental softly greeted, aww her voice was cute. There were two white orbs and a curved line on where her eyes and mouth should be. They twinkled as she greeted you all. The fire elemental’s flames flickered when she spotted Sans.

"Hello, Mr Sans!” 

“heya fuku,” Ah, so she’s the owner of this shop.

“how’s grillbs?”

“He’s doing fine, still an old workaholic.” The fire elemental, Fuku, answers with a giggle. She then started to chat with Sans and Papyrus. You take this as a cue to start exploring the clothes.

“Not many humans visit my shop, I’m so happy one came today!” she chirped. Ahh, she’s precious. You resist the urge to walk up to her and tell her that.

 

You started to hum as you browse the racks,  Blue had walked off to another island of racks. You reach for a random article of clothing, a modest white blouse that was decorated with lace. It felt really soft under your fingers. You usually found that lace was itchy, but the ones in this blouse weren’t. However, you put it back since the material was too thick to wear on a hot day.

"yeah. I wouldn't wanna get caught  _satin_ outside on a warm day with that too." Hoodie remarked.

"Shh. Let me browse in peace." you half-heartedly hushed him.

"haha, browse in _fleece_ , you mean?" Hoodie quipped.

"you're smiling though. you can't tell me you haven't  _felt_ anything for my puns." 

"Nope, we're not doing this." you say, moving to another rack. You still felt traces of a smile on your face.

" _l_ _amé_. i'll _popl-in_ after you're done then." and with that, Hoodie walked off to another section. How does he know all these fabric puns?

 

Everything in this shop was cute, you loved it. It was a bit warmer in here though, there is a living flame managing it. You try to decide on what to pick quickly, before you melt. Each article of clothing was unique, no two were the same- were these hand made? It doesn’t seem like the department store brands that mass produced their products. You were definitely buying something for yourself.

An image of Red and Fell wearing something cute entered your mind. Would they look cute in fluffy dresses? You turn to check on the two skeletons outside from the window, but Blue steps in and blocks the window view by holding up quite a few hangers of clothes.

 

“LOOK MISS Y/N! I THINK THIS ONE MAY SUIT YOU!” Blue said, holding up the first dress. The first one was a very poofy and colorful dress, it almost looks like a cafe maid outfit.

“Uhh.. Blue, it might be too hot to wear that today.” You hesitantly say as you examined the dress. It was also rather short, it was cut above the knees.

You set your gaze on the handful of clothes Blue was holding. Completely unaware of what was going on beyond the shop, where the two other skeletons were.

“OH. WELL, HOW ABOUT THIS ONE THEN?” He said, placing the dress on a nearby rack.

The next dress was a bit longer, it seemed to be designed for summer too. It had vibrantly colored flower patterns and spaghetti straps, you didn’t mind that, but you had to patrol today too. It would be troublesome to chase someone if needed with a dress. But then again.. that seems to be a fun challenge. Can you chase someone down with that dress?

“SURELY, YOU WILL FIND SOMETHING YOU’LL LIKE IN MY BRILLIANT DISTRACTIONS” 

Distractions? 

You raise an eyebrow at Blue. He started to look nervous.

 

Speaking of chasing, outside, Fell was following a man who was running away with a purse. The tall skeleton didn’t even need to strain himself, his usual speed-walking was fast enough. The walls didn’t let you hear Red’s loud laughter as he watches the man’s expression grow more and more terrified with each, long stride Fell took after him. It didn’t take him long to catch up and apprehend the thief, snatching the purse away and returning it’s owner, an old woman who was puzzled but grateful. You remain completely unaware of this, indeed distracted with clothes Blue was blocking your view on the window with.

 

“ER. I MEAN, WHAT ABOUT THIS THEN?” Blue switched the dress with a jumper. It was simple, on the front was a hand stitched message: “Cutie Pie” with a drawing of a pie. This could work.

“I like this one.”

Hoodie seemed content at your choice. But before you could reach for the jumper, Blue had already turned around to place it on the counter.

“Oh, Blue, I can pay for that.” You said, glancing at the window that Blue was previously blocking. You only see Fell attentively watching his surroundings. However, you can’t seem to spot Red anywhere. 

“WHAT A COINCIDENCE, MISS Y/N.” Blue beams.

“I, TOO, CAN PAY!” Blue announces, pulling out a wallet with a bunch of credit cards in it.  

Ah, you sometimes forget that monsters are wealthy. They did have gold as currency underground, and here in the surface, gold is valuable. However, the first year of their settlement, humanity didn’t trust anything that monsters had. That year must have been rough. It’s a good thing most monsters are well off now, Fuku’s shop was a proof of that. Also, even after a gold exchange system was made, the monsters were unable to buy individual properties. Leading them to either live in monster settlements altogether or with humans who opened their home for them. You are hoping for this to change, monsters should be able to choose where they wish to live.

Then, the bell of the door chimed, albeit a bit more loudly. Revealing Fell who was holding it half open. 

“UGH. THIS IS TAKING FOREVER, HURRY UP!” He fumed. You notice that Red was still nowhere to be seen. 

“HEY! IT’S ONLY BEEN 5 MINUTES, FELL. YOU’RE NOT BEING VERY PATIENT.” Blue shot back.

 

You quickly walk to the counter to pay while everyone was distracted. But to your surprise, Fuku had already tucked it in a paper bag to go, it was fully paid for already.

 

“Here you go, Ma’am. Have a lovely day!” She says, the two white orbs on her face curved upwards. She must be smiling.

“OH NO! MISS Y/N, I COULD HAVE PAID FOR THAT!” Blue pouted.

“I uh, didn’t pay??” you respond quizzically, hooking the bag on your arm.

 You glance at each of the skeletons, nothing in their facial expressions gave anything away. You were sure Blue hadn’t paid yet. Who paid?

“TIME IS TICKING. LET’S LEAVE.” Fell then steps in, grabbing your wrists and dragging you away.

“Wait- I haven’t even tried it on yet! Thank you!” You hurriedly said to Fuku before Fell had dragged you out of the shop.

The fire elemental meekly waved as you all exit her shop and carried on. 

 

**Blip.**  

The air near you twisted as a presence formed beside you. Your heart does a brief flip.

“god, i thought ya wouldn’t ever leave that place.” Red grumbled. 

Sometimes you forget that he, along with some of the other skeletons, have magical powers. They could teleport! How you wished you can do that.

“Where did you come from?” You asked. Beads of sweat formed on Red’s skull. 

“heheh. nowhere you’d wanna be in.” Oookay, that’s sketchy.

You finally notice that Fell’s grip on your wrist was tight, it stung.

“Ow- Fell, I can walk on my own.” You say, tugging your hand away. Fell scoffs. 

“NONSENSE. YOU WILL GET LOST WITHOUT MY GUIDANCE.”

“Well, your guidance kinda hurts- Ow!” you squeaked. His grip faltered at your tone, but had reinforced itself. Now, he was holding your hand. He didn’t seem to notice. Oho, a chance to fluster him.

“Oooh. Fell, how _daring._ You’re holding my hands. Could it be that you actually like me?” an evil smile slipped onto your face.

As if he had been electrocuted, Fell flinched and jerked his hand away from you. His face turned very red. Worked like a charm.

“N-NO I DO NOT.” He exclaimed, voice cracking near the end. “TCH. DELUDED WOMAN, JUST FOLLOW ME.” Fell started to speed walk. Well, faster than how he usually speed walks. 

“Don’t you like holding hands with me?” You continue to tease. 

“I- WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!” He crossed his arms, looking away.

 You look back at the other skeletons, they seemed amused over your antics.

“Look,” you held out your wrist “I’m already starting to bruise. My, my--”

Before you could finish what you’re saying, you suddenly lurch forward. Your surroundings shift and you fall. You land on the ground with an ‘oof’.

“OH NO! MISS Y/N, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?” Papyrus runs to your side, helping you up. How strange, you aren’t clumsy enough to trip on pebbles. Why is it glowing red?

 “I’m fine, just tripped.” you said, dusting yourself off and carrying on.

“heheh. guess you’re the one who Fell for someone after all.” Sans quipped. You snorted.

 

Not long after that, you all arrived on the doorstep of a dark-looking shop. You couldn’t see through the tinted windows but the exterior looked classy. Above the door was a sign that read; “ _Dark Endeavors_ ". Sounds rather shady.

 

.. That pun was unintentional.

 

“uh. y/n, y' sure wanna go in there?” Sans asks.

“we can go somewhere else.” he eyes the building warily.

“Yes?” you respond, slightly unsure of Fell’s choice as well. 

“YOU HEARD HER. JUST ENTER SO WE CAN GET YOUR CLOTHING DILEMMA OVER WITH, WRETCH.” Fell says, opening the door and stepping in. You expected to hear a bell chime, but heard nothing. That was a bit unsatisfying. 

Red stalked past you and into the shop. You and the others follow after him, but Fell blocked the  entrance. 

“OH, I’M SORRY. I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT ONLY THE INVITED AND PEOPLE WITH MEMBERSHIPS CAN ENTER. NYAHAHA!” Fell cackled, pulling you inside and slamming the door close.

 

Consent, Fell. It’s important!

 

From the window, you can see how the rest of your friends had mildly concerned expressions. You opened the door and give them a reassuring smile. Although, you are also slightly concerned for yourself around the two edgy skeletons. 

“I’ll be fine guys.” You said, waving your hand dismissively.

“I’m sure these two won’t hurt a weak and frail human girl like me.” Fell and Red seemed to visibly tense.

“They can be meanies, but they’re not that cruel.” 

Fell didn't even comment on your words. 

“heh. right. well, go ahead, sweetheart. wouldn’ wanna keep th’ boss waitin’.” Red scratches a spot over his eyes as he avoided eye contact… Suspicious. 

“YES, FOR ONCE MY PATHETIC BROTHER IS RIGHT. LET’S GO.” Fell says, walking further into the building.

“See you guys later then. Write ‘Death by Fashion’ on my grave stone if I don’t return.” You jokingly say as the closes behind you.

 

Ahaaa. "Death by fashion", gooood one- a good, _awkward_ one. 

 

It was dimly lit inside the shop, but not too dark that you can’t see anything. From inside, you can see the rest of the skeletons waiting outside and engaging in what seems like a hearty conversation. The corners of your lips involuntarily twitches up into a small smile. You observe your surroundings, it was more spacious than Fuku’s shop so there were more clothing racks. But that didn’t really matter since they all looked similar. Quantity matters here… Are those studded collars at the back? There were scented candles littered around the place, how atmospheric.

Red sat down on a velvety red sofa before the checkout counter where a human lady was standing. She had a bored expression on her contoured face, the tag on her uniform read ‘Lydia’. This place fits the two brothers’ aesthetics, this must be where they get their clothes.

“Ah. Mr Fell and Mr Red. Here for a fitting?” Lydia asks monotonously.

“NO. BUT SHE IS.” Fell said, gesturing to you. You wave at the woman who raises a brow at you. You did stick out like a sore thumb over this shop’s fashion.

“Hm, yes. Right this way.” She lazily says, leading the three of you to a curtained section.

You step in, Red attempts to do so as well before he gets pulled back by Fell who gripped his hoodie collar. 

“aw c’mon, boss. jus’ a quick peek?” Red jokingly pleaded.

“DON’T BE CRUDE.” Fell growled, pulling his brother away to sit nearby. He crosses his arms and legs, leisurely winging his foot back and forth. Red slumps back without complaint, leaning on his elbow. The two skeletons pull out their smart phones, busying themselves with it. You wonder how they’re able to use them without skin.

The curtains closed and separated you from the two skeletons. You noticed that there were two other women in there with you with measuring equipment.

“Oh! Um, hiii. there??” you sheepishly blurted out, tripping over your words.

One of the women chuckled. “Hello. Please stand still, we’ll be taking your measurements.” she says, you comply.

“agh. i’ll be missin’ out on that.” you hear Red mumble on the other side of the curtain.

“AND YOU WILL CONTINUE TO MISS OUT. STAY PUT.” Fell’s voice easily carries through the room.

* * *

 

“alright. you know the drill.” Sans started. 

“WE HAVE TO LOOK OUT FOR VILLAINS!” Blue announced. 

“YES! AND THEN ENGAGE IN A FIERY BATTLE OF WITTY BANTER AND SKILL!” Papyrus beamed, sockets sparkling.

“there’s one now.” Hoodie said, lazily pointing at the other end of the street.

The skeletons spotted a man stiffly stalking from store to store, looking at the windows. He looked disheveled and anxious.

“PAPPY, THAT’S JUST A WINDOW SHOPPING HUMAN.” Blue huffed.

“could be, bro. but look, his pockets have something shiny in it. ’m pretty sure that kind’a man wouldn’t have expensive jewelry in his pockets.” Hoodie lazily dragged, yawning near the end.

The man stopped before one of the shops, he takes his hands out of his hoodie pockets to scratch his chin. Light flashed from inside his pockets as he shifted where he stood. He truly did have jewelry in his pockets. From where Hoodie stood, he could see that there were quite a few chains with various precious stones inside the man’s pockets.

“that’s a bit critical of you to say.” Sans casually commented. 

“WHAT IF THE WINDOW SHOPPING HUMAN HAD JUST FORGOTTEN TO WEAR THEM?” Papyrus mused. 

“THERE’S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT! LET’S ASK HIM!” Blue said. 

“wait. bro, i don’t think-” before Hoodie could stop his brother, the younger skeleton was already approaching the suspicious human.

“EXCUSE ME, WINDOW SHOPPING HUMAN!” Blue said, his voice was loud enough to startle the stranger. He looked confused and wary.

“I SEE THAT YOU’RE LOOKING AT SOME RATHER EXPENSIVE TRINKETS.” Blue said, gesturing to the window of the shop the human was starting at. It featured jewelry.

Hoodie saw a glint of disgust in the stranger’s eyes as Blue innocently tried to strike up a conversation. Hoodie has already teleported himself behind the man, attentively eying his every move.

“THOSE ARE A LOT OF ZEROS ON THE PRICE TAGS- MWEH!”

The man had grabbed Blue’s arm painfully. He visibly shook in fear of the smaller being, but he was glaring at him.

“What’s a monster child doing here.” The man spat. He raised his other hand, threatening to hit Blueberry with it.

“Where’s your filthy family-”

Hoodie didn’t let it happen. He grabbed the man’s wrist, preventing him from spouting insults and striking his hand down at Blue. The man turns around, face paling as he faced Hoodie who was looming over him. The man was able to sense something menacing under the taller skeleton’s seemingly lazy smile. 

“ya shouldn’t have done that, pal.” 

* * *

 

  

The women were quick to do their job and stepped back to list what they’ve measured. They did get you to lift your shirt up and pose weirdly for it. Once they were done, they pulled the curtains aside and you stepped out, a bit tense.

You didn’t like it when people had that kind of information about you. It was mostly because you were just naturally cautious. Any form of information you give out can be used against you, you learned that after taking up numerous jobs related to the law. But you do feel silly over fussing about it in the first place, it’s only measurements. You do hope that they’ll get rid of that list.

“RELAX. MUST YOU _TRIP_ OVER EVERYTHING TODAY? HOW PITIFUL.” Fell scoffed with a smirk, staring at your slightly tense form. Ah, so he can actually bite back at you. Wait. Was that a pun? You feel yourself ease up a little bit and match his smirk.

“Oh, I’m hurt. I truly did fall- literally- for you. I enjoyed our hand-holding, my _dearest, lovely, foopy Fell_.” You clasp your hands together on your chest, feigning a look of admiration. 

The skeleton’s face burned brighter, it almost looked like lava. Red was burying his face into his hands, choking as he tried not to laugh. The women giggled, but Fell’s glare quickly hushed them up. Traces of amusement remained in their faces as they walk away.

You smirk at Fell as the three of you waited. Red was trying to wipe the widening grin on his face. Them the two women returned with a handful of clothes on their hands. The clothes were like something Fell would wear, but girl sized.

“Oh hey, this looks like something you two would wear.” You said, holding up a red turtleneck. “The three of us can be triplets.”

“JUST PICK.” 

“Fine, fine.”

 

These clothes were something you would wear on formal events, not on an outing. But you decided to humor Fell and pick something out. You did need a shirt for your jumper, but you don’t think the formality would match it. Oh, there’s a simple pair of leggings, it may match your jumper. You pick that one.

 

“SERIOUSLY? PICK SOMETHING ELSE.” Fell rolls his eyes- pinpricks.

“But I like this one.” 

“FINE. PICK ANOTHER ARTICLE ALONG WITH IT THEN.”

“Hmm…” you sift through the clothes, it was difficult to choose.

You misjudged this shop, each of the clothes were actually uniquely designed and different from one another. Or at least this set seemed to be. Some of them were formal, some were even skimpy-looking. They also don’t seem like something you could wear on a hot day. You lean onto your hands, eying the clothes.

 

Suddenly, an article of clothing was shoved onto your hands. You look at Fell who was crossing his arms and looking away.

“YOUR INDECISION MAKES MY PATIENCE RUN THIN. SO, I’VE DECIDED TO CHOOSE FOR YOU.”

You look at what he gave you. It was a black and white dress, a rather fancy one. It thankfully wasn’t as skimpy as the other dresses, but it looks like it’s gonna eat a chunk off your bank account. It wasn’t nearly as lacy or  studded as the others. It was backless, but a nice criss-crossed ribbon held it together. You hummed happily.

“hehehe, bet that’d look real nice on ya,” Red said, briefly looking the dress over. Huh. That didn’t sound as perverted as you thought it would. It kinda sounds like a compliment even.

 

But then again, this is Red you’re talking about. That doesn’t seem very possible.

 

You step into the curtained section once more. You’re not sure if you should buy the dress, but you decided to humor your friends and try it on.

Fell tapped his foot impatiently but stopped to look at his phone that had briefly buzzed on his hands. He opened it to see a message from Sans.

“ _don’t let y/n out yet.”,_ it read.

“it’s really pretty.” you say as you let a smile of content play on your lips. You step out of the curtained section.

“Can I go show the others? To see what they’d think of it--” 

_“NO.” “no.”_

 

Um, okay.

 

You raise a brow at them. They’re acting rather suspicious. Silently deciding to keep an eye on them, you do a little spin to marvel at the dress. The two skeletons who had turned pink as you did. Huh, that’s rare. They usually just turn red, what does pink indicate?

“Uh. Is it too revealing..?” you mumble to yourself as you look yourself over.

“ah, sweetheart. there’s no such thing as ‘too revealing’.” Red purred, looking you over as well. A little bit too lewdly. You inwardly shudder, narrowing your eyes at him.

“YOU’RE DECENT LOOKING.” Oh, that actually wasn’t an insult. 

You guessed by their reactions, that the dress was alright on you. You step behind the curtains once more and change into your sweatshirt.

 

“I don’t think I can wear this on a sunny day.” You say, moving to give it back to the two women. However, Fell swiped the dress and as well the leggings from out of your hands. 

“YOU CAN USE THE DRESS SOME OTHER DAY.” He states, turning to the impassive lady beside him and passing the clothes to her. “WE’LL TAKE THESE ONES.”

“Right away, sir.” Lydia takes the clothes.

"Hey, wait! Fell, let me pay!” You say, putting aside the other articles of clothing they presented to you. What is up with these skeletons? Is it a monster tradition to buy clothes for people??

“It’s already been paid for, ma’am.” Lydia states.

 

What?! When?

 

“YES. SO STAY PUT AND BROWSE.” Fell smirks triumphantly as your face falls.

You decide to rebel against him and try to make your way to the counter, but you stumble when you felt something pull you from behind.

“oh no, ya don’t.” Red was holding the sleeves of your sweatshirt. You furrow your brows for the umpteenth time for the day.

 

“try this.” 

Red handed you a studded collar. You make a face. 

“I’d.. rather not.” 

“heheheh.. c’mon live a lil’, sweetheart.” Red waved the collar at you, the bell on it’s front jingled.

“THAT IS AN UNCHARACTERISTICALLY ACCEPTABLE IDEA, BROTHER. QUICK, WRETCH. WEAR IT.” Fell ordered, a sinister grin growing on his face.

You back away as they step closer to you, and look at the other women. They sheepishly smiled and avoided eye contact. The two brothers resembled two predators hunting a common prey- you. Red looked especially ecstatic at the situation as he unclipped the collar’s buckle. Fell looked ready to lunge at you and hold you down.

 

However, the buzz from Fell’s phone made the two of them stop. The taller of the two checked the phone, a disappointed look crossed his features. Red seemed to guess whatever Fell was looking at and frowned.

“looks like you get a free pass this time.” Red grumbled. You sigh in relief as the three of you begin to leave the shop.

“Fell, you really didn’t have to pay.”, you say.

“YOU WERE BEING SLOW. I'D RATHER NOT WASTE MY TIME ON YOUR SLOW NATURE.” the skeleton simply answered.

“Pleasure doing business with you and your significant other, Mr Fell.” Lydia says, still monotonous. She neatly folds the clothes and tucks them into a paper bag.

“SHE- SHE’S NOT MY S-SIGNIFICANT OTHER!” Fell exclaimed, stammering. You briefly wonder how red he can get.

“Oh. My apologies. Have a pleasant day nonetheless.” Lydia says apathetically, pulling out her phone and scrolling through it. 

“YOU’RE FORGIVEN. HOWEVER, I CAN SEE HOW YOU HAD COME TO SUCH A LUDICROUS CONCLUSION.” Fell stated, eying you from the corner of his sockets. “IT IS ONLY NATURAL THAT YOU CAN SEE HOW SHE CLEARLY IS SWOONING OVER MY ACTIONS.” Pfff, right.

“Of course.” Lydia says, disinterested. She doesn’t even spare you three a glance. 

“LET’S GO.” Fell says, he opens the door. There’s still not bell sounds- you’re slightly disappointed. 

 

"Hey, Fell." you called out before anyone could leave. Fell turns around, his face contorting into what looks like irritation.

"Thank you." you simply say as you walk past him and exit the shop.

Fell's face once again turned pink. However, that didn't last long after Red's chuckling interrupted his thoughts.

 

As soon as you step out, the sun immediately welcomes you back with it’s blinding light. The coolness of the building is replaced with too much warmth.

“Ow! Sheesh. That’s bright.” You flinched, covering your eyes with your forearms. The sun seems to have some sort of beef with you today.

“WELCOME BACK MISS Y/N! DID YOU FIND SOMETHING YOU LIKE?” Papyrus asked. Huh. Hoodie was missing this time.

“OF COURSE SHE DID. ONLY AN ESTABLISHMENT SUCH AS THIS CAN COMPLETE MY STANDARDS.”

“HMP. MISS Y/N CLEARLY LIKES THE JUMPED FROM EARLIER BETTER!” Blue argued.

 

“Agh! G-Get away from me!”, you hear an unfamiliar man’s voice yell from around the alleyway beside the shop, followed by loud and metallic clattering noises. Your eyes narrow as you warily make your way towards the noise. Whoever it was that yelled, he sounded angry and afraid.

But you relax as soon as you see Hoodie walk around from the corner. But he couldn’t have possibly be the one who yelled.

 

“oh, hey Y/N.” he casually greets.

“Heyy.. uh, why were you there? Who yelled?” You asked, taking a peek at the corner. You saw no one else there, but there was a mess. A garbage can had been toppled over, it’s contents sprawled across the ground. Whoever it was that had yelled must have ran away. Whoever it was couldn’t have been Hoodie, the voice differed from his.

“you’re hearing things.” Hoodie says dismissively.

“No, I am not. You guys heard that too, right??” You turn to the other skeletons who all unanimously shook their heads.

Was it your mind playing tricks on you? Well, you are walking around with the expectation of coming across some kind of criminal act today. You let go of your suspicions with a sigh,  walking further into the alleyway and crouch to fix the toppled garbage can.

Were you that stressed?

You walk back to your friends and give them a smile, indicating that you were ready to move on.

“okay. next store.” Sans said, starting to walk off. You and the others follow after him, curious as to where the next stop was.

 

The day was going pretty well. This was nice, just walking around for mundane things like clothes. You almost forgot how the world beyond your office was like. You forgot that there was more to living than signing off documents to make sure governments don't crumble.

“OH GOODIE! WE’RE HERE!” Papyrus beams. We stopped in front of a simple clothes shop, you’ve been here before. From the window, you could see that there was variety in the shop this time. You can finally complete your new outfit, you needed a shirt for the jumper.

“UM. ARE WE GOING TO STAND HERE FOR ANOTHER FIVE MINUTES OR ARE WE COMING IN?” Papyrus asks, gaze turning shifty. Whoops, you zoned out.

“Oh, right. We should.” This time, you take the initiative and step inside. The coolness of the air conditioner hits you. Ahh, that feels nice.

“Welcome.” A young teen on the other side of the counter greeted. You smile back at him and nod in acknowledgment.

“MISS Y/N, THEY HAVE MTT BRAND CLOTHES FEATURED HERE! THE OTHER DAY, ME AND SANS FOUND SOMETHING YOU MIGHT LIKE.” Papyrus said as he walks over to a secluded isle. This was new. The isle stood out with the pink, black, and silver color scheme.

Mettaton was the first ever monster celebrity, he pretty much could do any role that individual hollywood artists did. Cameraman, reporter, actor- anything. He also had his own fashion line. Speaking of him, there was a flat screen TV that featured Mettaton in the upper corner of this shop.

 

“ _My dear prince! However shall I repay your valor!_ ” Mettaton recited with semi-robotic voice. He seemed to be playing the part of a damsel, swooning in the arms of a human with the role prince.

“OOOH! IT’S LIVE! METTATON’S ACTING IS TRULY AMAZING.” Papyrus says as he too watched the tv.

" _I had almost died, darling!_ ” You saw a dragon-like monster half heartedly roar. Mettaton shrieks, too loudly and emotionally. Well, if there was one downfall to his skills, it’s that he tends to over exaggerate his acting.

You turn away from the tv and sift through the racks. Papyrus does the same, and eventually pulls out a hanger of clothes. Will they ever let you pick your own things?

“Is that..?”

“heh. remember when you said you worked part-time as a police officer before? we saw this and wondered if you would do the uniform any _justice_.” sans quipped.

“SANS!” Papyrus exclaimed, unamused by the pun. You can’t help but smile.

Papyrus held a black and pink combination of a skirt and a blouse. It indeed looked like a police uniform. It had a lot of sequins and glitter on it, but you decide to humor them and put it on later.

“GASP. MISS Y/N, YOU WERE PART OF THE HUMAN ROYAL GUARD?! WHAT WAS IT LIKE??” Blue was, once again, oscillating at the spot. He did aspire to be part of the Royal Guard at one point, you remember vaguely.

Nostalgia washed over you. It’s been so long since you wore this uniform, you’re no longer an officer. But you did miss the job sometimes.

“It was fun.” You muse, running your hands across the silvery trim of the blouse. “No two days were the same. Hold, I’ll go try it on.”

Papyrus gives you the outfit while you try to spot a dressing room. There was one on the other side of the shop, you walk towards it. 

“I WAS NOT MADE AWARE OF THIS.” you hear Fell say.

“mm, don’t ya think that dress was a little..” 

“- _too pink_.” Sans finishes for Red.

“no, ya moron. ‘was gonna say _kink_ -” 

“- _killer._ ‘bet any criminal would run away from someone in that uniform.” Sans once again interrupts.

“ugh, great. i’m bein’ filtered.” Red grumbles.

  

You were about to exit the changing stall you were in, when you heard the shop doors open. You peek to see a lone man saunter in.  He immediately busying himself with looking at the clothes. Despite his deceivingly calm demeanor, he keeps on preening himself. Anxious tell #1, when somebody preens themselves, they’re trying to soothe some sort of physical or mental concern. You have learned to list body language tells after years of dealing with criminals. You have often seen preening as a way to hide weaponry beneath clothes. However, it can just be him being self-conscious of his looks.

Your eyes widened when you spot the hilt of a gun briefly reveal itself inside his jacket while he preened himself. You quietly open the stall and hide behind a nearby rack.

 

“Okay, kid. Let’s make this quick and easy.” you hear the stranger rasp, followed by the coking of a gun. “You know what to do.”

The skeletons on the other side of the room notices this and quiets down. The threatened teen gulps, shakily pounding a few buttons on the cash register. A sharp ping cuts the silence, the register pops open, revealing a few wads of cash in it’s slots.

 

It wasn’t just some stranger and a counter clerk anymore. It was an assailant and a victim that you see now.

 

You stalk around by hiding behind the clothing racks, slowly getting closer with each rack. You don’t spare your friends a glance, fully focusing on the crime that’s being committed.

“Well?? You gonna hand me that or not?!” The assailant yelled, pressing the gun onto the poor victim’s forehead.

“S-Sir.. please don’t make me d-do this.” The teen stuttered, your heart drops for him. He’s buying you time by talking. But that’s also bad, he might anger the criminal.

You stop behind the rack closest to them to survey the situation. The assailant was collected, his grip was firm, and his gaze unwavering. You can safely assume that he has done this before. He seemed to only have a gun with him, no knives or anything else. You wait for an opening, a chance to safely swipe that gun away from him.

“UM, EXCUSE ME, NEW HUMAN. SORRY TO DISTURB YOUR… POKING WITH A STRANGE OBJECT, BUT YOU’RE SCARING THE YOUNGER HUMAN!” Papyrus?!

 

You blanch, oh no.

 

“Huh? What’s a monster doing here?!” The gunman suddenly becomes anxious, switching his attention to Papyrus and pointing the gun at him. This is not good.

“OH! THANK YOU FOR NOT POINTING THAT AT THE YOUNGER HUMAN ANYMORE.” Papyrus, you don’t thank someone who’s threatening to shoot you!

The criminal’s grip was now shaky, his breathing picked up, and his eyes were wider. The picture image of someone backed into a corner, someone prone to make very brash and fast decisions. This is really not good.

“CAN-” the gunman’s finger twitches on the trigger, “-YOU ALSO STOP POINTING THAT AT ME? THAT IS A VERY WEIRD HUMAN GREETING.” Papyrus remains oblivious to the harm a gun can do.

“S-Stay away!” The gunman then points the gun above him and readies himself. Warning shots.

 

The moment the trigger was pulled and a loud bang sounded, you lunge at the assailant from your spot, firmly grasping the barrel and the man’s wrists, putting pressure on him with the flat side of your shoulder blades. You swiftly, and painfully, twist the weapon out of the man’s hands while jabbing the man onto the ground with the flat of your shoulder. The man yowled as he fell down, gripping the hand you twisted. His anger quickly turns to fear as he turns to you.

For a few moments, you couldn’t find your words. This man had threatened Papyrus, someone who doesn’t even know he’d put himself under harm’s way.

“He told you to put the gun down.” You simply said, an indecipherable expression shadowed over your features. Papyrus, that sweet and innocent skeleton, was put under the line of fire.

 

You will not forgive that.

 

“Stand up.” You demand, the man flinches but does not move. Your tone had gone flat and indifferent.

“Didn’t you hear me?” You ask, narrowing your eyes and pointing the gun at the assailant.

“Please, stand up.”, you let an empty smile grace your features. The man fearfully complies. 

You feel several eyes drilling holes around you, but you kept your eyes trained on the assailant. 

“Stand against the wall, put your hands up, and do NOT move.” your smile twitches. You’re fighting the urge to threaten him for almost hurting Papyrus and the unfortunate clerk. 

“Please don’t shoot me!” the man started to blubber. _You’re lucky that shooting criminals without a lawful reason is deeply frowned upon,_ you thought to yourself.

 

“MISS Y/N, ARE YOU OKAY??” Papyrus asks. ‘Are _you_ okay’?! He should worry more about himself!

“I’m fine, Papyrus.” You say, letting your stone-faced demeanor drop as you face him.

“Can you please comfort the clerk?” you gesture to the shaken teen huddled under the counter. 

“OH GOODNESS! YOUNGER HUMAN, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?” 

“I’m- I’m fine. Thank you.” The teen mumbles, adjusting his glasses. Papyrus helps him up.

“holy shit, Y/n. Are you hurt??” Hoodie was the first to act and walk up to you.

“Nope. Hold this.” You make sure the safety lock of the gun clicked on before you hand it to Hoodie. He seemed disturbed over the weapon, but holds onto it anyways.

 

You begin to recite the man's rights as you lock his hands behind his back, something you had to monotonously condition yourself to do whenever you made an arrest. However, you did make this arrest slightly more painful that the other ones. You harden your grip as you make the man stand straighter. Well, you’re not really a police officer anymore, but the postponement of telling someone their rights might lead to court issues. Besides, you were a judge now- you technically have the power to do this, and more. 

You look around for something to tie the assailant with and spot a roll of duct tape on the counter. That’ll have to do. You use it to bind the man’s wrists together.

“P-Please, don’t arrest me!” He blubbered.

“I wouldn’t have to if you didn’t threaten anyone.” You coldly replied, letting an empty smile return to your face.

 

“Sans.” You called out, looking at the group of skeletons who walked closer. Sans’ pinpricks flickered at your tone, you knew him long enough to know that it probably meant he was surprised or anxious. You willed your gaze and tone to soften.

“I need you to help me get to the police station.” You say as you take the gun back from Hoodie, for evidence. Can Sans bring two other people with him? 

“uh, sure.” The answer is yes. Sans walks over to you, putting a hand on your shoulder and short-cutting you and the assailant away. Leaving 5 other skeletons and the traumatized teen. There was a momentary silence that enveloped the room.

 

“... welp. that was interestin’” Red states, breaking the silence.

“didn’t know she had that in ‘er.” he muses.

“EH. ANYONE CAN DO THAT.” Fell says, feigning disinterest. He wonders why you hadn’t done such a move when they were sparring.

“ARE YOU ALRIGHT, HUMAN?” Blue asks worriedly.

“I-I am fine.” The clerk reassures, shakily gathering the last dollar bill back into the register.

 

Sans, you, and the man arrived at the police station. You remember Sans telling you that he couldn’t go to places he hasn’t been to before. Hmm, so that meant he had to go here at some point- for what? you wonder.

“Oh, Miss Y/n.” the lady on the front desk knew you, her voice was familiar. Ah, it was Lola, the one who called you earlier.

“Officer Lola. Got you someone with attempted murder.” you said, painfully clapping the back of the man who captured. He flinched.

“The guy tried to rob a shop nearby, I’ll send you the address later.. Can I at least punch him for almost hurting one of my friends??” You ask.

“Sorry, dear. You can’t do that.” The lady smiles apologetically at you while she comes around the counter to collect the criminal. 

“Friend of yours? We’ve been wondering why we have a few skeletons come around the station today. Guess we shouldn’t be worried, they’re with you.” Lola says, looking at Sans. You start to piece things together.

“This one’s blue. The last two were Red and Orange.” she muses. Interesting.

 

You eyed Sans, he sheepishly rubbed the back of his head.

 

“You really commit to the force.” Lola says, an amused smile gracing her face.

“Though I did say you didn’t have to wear a uniform.” A uniform? Oh.

You look yourself over, you now realized you're wearing the outfit Papyrus gave you earlier. The assailant did arrive after you were done in the changing stalls. You looked like the MTT version of a police officer. You feel heat rise up your cheeks, Lola good-naturedly chuckles at you.

“Well, I’ll see you later Officer Lola!” you said, waving goodbye at the woman and shooting one, last glare at the assailant. He shrinks back, you’re content with that reaction.

 

Not a moment later, you and Sans had returned, startling everyone.

“Ah, that was finally over.” You say, stretching your arms. You let the tenseness you feel ease away as you turned to the victim- er, clerk.

“The actual police will be here shortly, sir. They’ll ask you for the CCTV footage and your statement of the event.” You assure as you open your phone to send your location to Lola’s contact.

“Th-Thank you, miss.” the teen rubbed his arm, shrinking a little. But he looked a lot less scared now.

You smiled at the teen, then turn to your friends.

“I kinda like this outfit, I’ll pay for it.”

Fortunately, no one prevented you from paying for your outfit, plus a shirt, this time. You also found the time to change into the jumper and the leggings the skeleton bought, and the shirt you yourself had purchased.

* * *

 

“.. So,” you started, clapping your hands together. “Would anyone like to tell me something right now? Anyone?” You eyed your friends patiently. They seemed to shift uncomfortably under your gaze. Papyrus was the first to crack.

“.. WE’RE SO SORRY, MISS Y/N!” Papyrus bawled, moving to scoop you up in a crushing hug.

 “WE JUST WANTED YOU TO HAVE FUN TODAY. YOU WERE ALL ALONE, COOPED UP IN YOUR ROOM YESTERDAY, SLOWLY DESCENDING INTO MADNESS. WE DECIDED TO TAKE MATTERS INTO OUR OWN HANDS AS VIGILANTES AFTER WE VICIOUSLY EAVESDROPPED ON YOUR CALL EARLIER!” you can’t quite imagine Papyrus donning a vicious look on his face as he listens in on your call.

“YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN REALLY STRESSED IF YOU HAD TO WORK MORE, SO WE DECIDED TO TAKE MATTER INTO OUR OWN HANDS AND PROTECT YOU USING OUR MANIPULATIVE DISTRACTIONS!” Blue added, tears stinging the corner of his sockets. Oh no, you made them cry?!

“SEEING YOU UNSKILLFULLY APPREHEND THAT CRETIN FROM EARLIER IS PROOF THAT YOU’RE UNDER QUALIFIED TO DO ANYTHING TODAY.” Fell stated, crossing his arms. “HAD YOU MOVED ANY SLOWER, YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN HURT.” Huh, was that.. concern you hear in his tone? Pff nah.

“WHAT WE’RE TRYING TO SAY IS THAT IT WAS US ALL ALONG!” Papyrus cries, crushing you further with his hug.

“Woah, no-no need to cry, Papyrus!” you rasped, having a difficult time breathing. “You’re- You’re crushing me.” you choked out.

 Papyrus then releases you, plopping you back on the ground. You can breathe now.

“WHAT THE CRYBABY’S TRYING TO SAY IS THAT WE HAVE BEEN GOING CAPTURING PITIFUL HUMANS WHO WE HAPPENED TO CATCH DOING SOMETHING ILLEGAL.” Fell states, he looks proud of himself.

“But I was with you all day?” 

“we did it when ya weren’t lookin’. duh.” Red stated, looking rather indifferent to the situation.

“FELL AND RED WERE CATCHING A THIEF WHILST I WAS DISTRACTING YOU WITH THE CUTE CLOTHES I CAREFULLY PICKED FROM LAST MONTH!” Wait. How _long_ had he planned to show you Fuku’s shop??

“you weren’t crazy, you really did hear someone in that alleyway from where hoods was.” Sans added.

“are you.. mad?” Hoodie hesitantly asks.

 

"Are you mad? No. But you’re concerned.

 

“You shouldn’t do something so dangerous.” you chastised. The skeletonS shrunk back at your tone.

“Any of you could have gotten hurt if I wasn't there!”

“that’s hubris, sweetheart. ya could’a gott’n hurt too.” Red states.

“did’ja forget we’re monsters? we have magic, you don’t.”

 

Yes, but you don’t really care if you got hurt.

 

“Yes, but I’m trained for this!” you argued. The skeletons averted eye contact, reverting to their own nervous ticks.

 “... I’m not mad.” You tone yourself down, mulling over your next words.

“I’m… happy. Happy that you all went out of your way to protect me.” sure, let's go with that. You were still salty that they've done dangerous things, but you can’t help but genuinely smile. It was.. nice having people worry for you.

“HMP. YOU’RE WELCOME.” Fell immediately replies. 

“But,” you wagged your index finger at them.

“Never do that again! Humans may look weak, but we’re pretty strong.” you thought back to the criminal you apprehended. People like him usually hit rock bottom and was just forced into aggression for survival. Even in rock bottom, humans remain resilient.

 

“heh. you can say that again.” Sans commented, his grin slightly falling.

 

Your friends still had concerned looks on their faces.

“Guys, seriously. I would’ve been gone by now if I couldn’t handle a bit of roughhousing.” You reassure, the word 'gone' made your friends' face contort. You could have phrased that better.

“Look at me now, I’m still alive to see all of you and have fun.” you smile at them. That seemed to brighten them up.

“It’s only.. 5 pm. And it won’t be dark until 8. Let’s enjoy the rest of the day.” you state as you glance at your wrist watch. And with that, everybody went back to how they were before the little incident.

“heh, yeah. we should _skele_ daddle along.” Sans earned a couple of groans and chuckles from Red and Hoodie.

 

* * *

 

Needless to say, you still had tons of fun with the skeletons. You 110% don’t regret binging on your work yesterday in order to spend the whole day with your skeleton buddies. 

All of you visited as many shops as you can and nothing bad happened. There were no more thieves or men pointing gun at anyone. Only fun.

The day ended with all of you driving up to Mt Ebbot and eating parfait under a blanket of stars. You knew there was a clearing on the side of the mountains where none of the trees were high enough to obscure the view. The more enthusiastic few of the skeletons had convinced your group to go early. So that all of you watch as the sun descended from the heavens and into the horizon, giving way to the moon and the stars. Downtown, you wouldn’t be able to see much of the heavenly bodies, but up here it’s almost like you could touch them. Even at night, the grass twinkled and shone under the light of dusk. You and the skeletons set up a blanket on the grassy ground, enjoying the view above.

 

Also, you called it. Blue had mixed really spicy hot sauce on Red’s parfait earlier today. You almost felt sorry.

Keyword: almost.

 

“shit! fuck! mother of BONES!” he yelled, frantically digging for milk, or at the very least water, in the coolers. But he found none, so he had to teleport all the way to the Mansion for something to drink. Wow, Blueberry’s a sadist.

 

You sat down on the ground and watch as the skies grow darker. Everything seemed so.. domestic and mundane, it was pleasant.

 

However, you can’t help but wonder.

 

How much time do you have left until all of this expires?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: Papyrus didn't know what a gun was despite there being a human child that wielded one in the underground before. Sans hid him away around the time a human child with a gun fell into the underground. (Just my head cannon)
> 
> Edited some typos on July 7, 2017. 
> 
> Feel free to critique my writing. Thank you for reading! ^^


	3. You're (technically) a granny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You address your woes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! There were many ways this chapter could have went and it was difficult deciding which story plot I wanted to go with.

The ticking of the metronome on your desk has been the only thing you've heard since you entered your study. The curtains were drawn over the windows and only the dull light of a lamp illuminated the room. It was serene, but too silent.

Tick… Tick… Tick….

You run your hands through your hair, lifting your head off your make-shift nest which consisted of not so neatly stacked papers, ID cards, and a whooole lotta angst.

You proceed to stare holes into the pile of IDs scattered all over your desk. There’s too many of them for one person to have. You fail to remember just how many of them you had. Should you burn them? Perhaps getting rid of them will ease your mind.

Tick… Tick… Tick…

The sound of the metronome would fade in and out, overlapping your thoughts.

You’ve been at this for an hour or so now. You’re locked up in your study. It’s past 3 in the morning, you should be asleep at this unholy hour.

One specific ID on your desk had the most recent information about you. But you ignored everything but your birth date.

Those 8 digits are lies.

You reach for one of the thick envelopes on your desk. Its covers were battered and withered over time. You absentmindedly flip through its contents, it contains the deed to your current estate and other personal documents. Most of them were brittle and the words written in ink were blurred. A few of the papers looked less old and readable.

All of these documents have lived for decades- no, centuries.

The documents were signed with different names. But they all belonged to you.

Tick… Tick…

Everyone on Earth will eventually fall under the burden of time. A human’s life is but a single speck of sand in the upper chamber of an hourglass, and after a small amount of time, they’ll fall into the lower chamber. They’ll vanish into the other fallen grains of sand. People eventually resign into death, leaving only distant memories and barely any evidence of their existence after their departure. They’ll never come back.

Everyone in this world is part of that system.

Everyone but you.

Ahhh, that was really edgy. You don’t even have an hourglass around, you have a metronome.

You shake your head, willing your dreariness to disappear.

But the metaphor still stands true.

Tick… Tick...

You’re a drastic medical anomaly.

Unlike everyone you've known, you’ve lived for quite a long while now. You’ve been around for decades, centuries even.

But hey, who’s counting?

It’s not that you can’t get physically injured, that would have been nice. But unfortunately, you’re not omnipotent.

You can get injured and sick, be left on the brink of death. But in the end, you had always cheated the reaper and survived.

At multiple points, you’ve broken your bones before the age of surgery. You’ve had fatal injuries before the age of medicine that didn’t involve mercury or lead- those were dreadful treatments. But there was no real need for medicine or treatment. Of course, the experiences didn’t exclude the excruciating pain of having your own spine chip and gnaw at your flesh until you finally lost consciousness and ‘died’.

After a number of days, you’d wake up from a coma, completely fine. Everything and everyone around you had carried on with their lives, and so did you after your recovery.

There were times when it was hard to tell if you died or not after a little nap.

You can never age and will remain in what seems to be a convenient homoeostasis in time.

You’re immortal.

But you needed to look human. You needed to hop from one identity to the next so that you’re like the rest of the world.

Tick… Tick… Tick…

There’s no one that’s able to tell why exactly you can’t age or stay dead, not that you'd ever want to experience either of those. Anybody would jump at the chance to extend their life. There’s nothing in your memories that can help you figure out what you are too.

The doctors you approached didn’t know what to make of your condition, not even with modern science. The only thing they could guarantee was their silence. You could count the doctors who could take your secret to their graves with your fingers.

Well, it was more like the doctors kept their mouths shut because you’ve done something good for them at some point. They’re indebted to you. Maybe even fear you.

Point is, nobody knows what exactly you are, but you’re certainly not 100% human.

You look human, act like one, and probably even taste like one if somebody cooked you into a steak. But health-wise, you were an anomaly. It’s the reason why you have an ever-growing pile of documents and IDs under different names.

And at some point, you’ll have to leave your current life as Y/n L/n.

Tick… Tick… Tick…

You only have a few more years until people will surely get suspicious of you. So, here you were. Tired, yet awake, and feeling like there’s a deadline you’re working against.

Ironically, while you seem to have all the time in the world, you’re still tied down to deadlines.

The days passing by started to look more and more familiar. Mundane and peaceful, domestic.

Exactly like the last few days you’d spend before suddenly disappear since your time was up.

Tick… Tick… Tick...

There was a sticky note pasted on top of one of the envelopes. Written on it was a list of phone numbers of people who can help you make arrangements for a new life. You merely stare at it, making no move to dial any of them.

You’re torn. Should you really be doing this now?

Tick… Tick… Tick…

Of course, you should be doing this!

It is irrational to think that anyone can even be hesitating if they were in your shoes. Your overall health was well beyond average. You lived in a mansion and in luxury. You could easily use the knowledge and skills you’ve acquired throughout the years to copy this lifestyle- maybe even create a better one.

You have to do this, Y/n. This is for your own good. Just put in the numbers, talk for a while, then bam! You’re home free. Literally. Then you can just make a new home somewhere far off the coast of- I don't know- Cuba, meet new people, and maybe even be a judge again.

Or not. A short break from paperwork would be nice.

Why is there a baseless, heavy feeling in your chest? A voice in your mind telling you what you’re doing is wrong? And how is it somehow overpowering the logical choice?

You’ve been feeling this for over a while now.

 

There’s an annoying feeling that’s telling you not to do anything, stopping you from leaving the mansion, your name, your job, and everything else you’ve owned.

 

Tick… Tick…

On a more positive note, there is something to not upset about. You used your real name this time, Y/n L/n.

It might have been a risky thing to do, but if people were just going to forget you after a couple of decades, it shouldn’t be much of a problem, right?

You got to hear people call you by your true name again.

Tick… Tick…  

The sun was going to rise after a little while. The light from beyond your windows were slowly getting stronger. The loudest set skeletons of the household will also be up in a few hours.

You paused after having stumbled upon an epiphany. The skeletons.

That must be it! You’re hesitating because…

You must feel like you owe them something!

It makes perfect sense. Maybe you’ll be able to finally feel at peace if you find out what you owe them. You must have some sort of unpaid debt, and that’s what’s been bugging you.

Your doctors stuck around because they felt indebted, after all. You must be in the same boat.

Another sigh escaped your lips as you bury your face onto the pile of IDs.

You’re ditching work again today. Wow, you’ve been slacking, two days in a row. Though, not that it really matters.

Not when you have to leave this life soon.

Tick… Tick…

A while after that thought, you finally felt tired and opted to take a nap. The door is locked, you'll just deal with this mess tomorrow. It's not like something bad will happen if you don't. You didn’t bother moving and just laid your head on your desk, willfully succumbing to rest.

Tick.

The metronome stopped it’s rhythmic swaying. But you were unable to hear it, already asleep.

* * *

 

_Knock! Knock! Knock! Knock!_

An obnoxious and repetitive noise reached your ears, interrupting the silence of your study and waking you.

Groggily, you try to bury yourself further into your arms. However, you were unable to block out the noises which seemed to be getting louder and louder by the second. You flutter your eyes open, blinking away your blurry vision. The curtains in your study were drawn, but a little bit of sunlight trickled through and illuminated the room.

“MISS Y/N! ARE YOU IN THERE? DID YOU SPEND THE WHOLE NIGHT WORKING AGAIN?” Came the muffled voice of someone beyond the door. It took you a moment to realise who it was.

“MISS Y/N? I HOPE YOU’RE NOT PLANNING ON SKIPPING LUNCH AGAIN. IT’S WAY PAST NOON!” Ah. It was Blue.

You slide off your chair and walk to your door, limping as a strange fuzzy feeling engulfs your left leg. Ugh, your leg was falling asleep. You turn the lock knob and it clicked. The door is now open.

“.. Come in, the door is open…”

You trail, heart plummeting as you turn around and realise that you hadn’t clean up the mess on your desk from last night.

Crap.

“OH. THE DOOR’S OPEN? I’M COMING IN THEN-”

Click. You swiftly turn the knob again and lock the door.

“UM. THAT DIDN’T SOUND LIKE AN OPEN DOOR.” Blue commented from outside.

“Sorry, Blue! I just have to clean up.” You rasped with a dry throat. You bolted to your desk, hurriedly stacking the papers and IDs into a sloppy pile.

“Please wait out there,” You make your way towards one of the bookshelves lined against the wall.

But halfway through, you collapsed. There was a weird numb fuzziness shooting through your leg, it was uncomfortable.

“OH! I CAN HELP YOU WITH THAT. I, THE MAGNIFICENT S- BLUE, AM ALSO A MAGNIFICENT CLEANER-!”

You desperately gather the mess you dropped and limp to the shelves. Aghhh, your leg feels weird! You pull out three heavy books with your free hand, they drop to the floor.

“- OF COURSE, I HAVE NUMEROUS EXPERIENCES WITH CLEANING. BEING THE BROTHER OF A LAZYBONES WHO ALWAYS HAD HONEY BOTTLES SCATTERED EVERYWHERE!-”

“T-That’s awesome Blue!” You commented as you tried not to drop your pile of documents. You endure the strange feeling on your leg.

You push your free hand against the shelf and a wooden square recedes, you swipe it to the side. Behind it was a safe. You push a few buttons, entering a numerical code.

“YOU MUST BE HAVING A HARD TIME CLEANING MISS Y/N. CAN I OPEN THE DOOR AND COME IN?”

“No! It’s... It’s alright, Blue.” You struggle with punching in the code and giving Blue half your attention.

“Besides, I have my hands full so I can’t open the door. Aha. Ha.” You forcibly chuckle.

“ALL THE MORE REASON TO HELP! NO WORRIES, MISS Y/N. FOR MY SPECIALTY IN PUZZLES ALSO MAKES ME A CERTIFIED LOCKPICKER!”

Welp, that means you have to act faster. Adrenaline allowed you to punch in the long numerical password faster after you heard metallic clinking from the door.

But then, you accidentally press the wrong button.

“Bugger!”, you cursed.

“LANGUAGE!”, Blue scolded, picking the door lock with tiny metal rods.

You duck after another annoying beep sounded, dropping a few cards as you did. Something whizzed past you and landed on the other side of the room. You glance back to see a small dart sticking onto a painting. Various other holes are scattered near it, the evidence of your past slip ups.

The wooden part of the shelf slides back over the safe again, clicking into place. You redo the whole process again.

“MWEH! THIS DOOR IS STUBBORN!” Door, thank you for buying time.

You successfully entered the right pass-code this time, a click sounded and the safe opens. God, it was probably 30 digits long!

The same time you shove all the stuff you had in your arms into the safe haphazardly, a loud click sounded from the door.

“AHA!”

Your heart does a flip as you pick up the IDs you dropped on the ground earlier, successfully shoving them into the safe as a well.

The door creaks open.

You slam the safe shut, its wooden covers automatically slid back, successfully covering your secrets. You swivel around to see Blue. He regards you with a wide smile, bringing in a covered plate of food.

“GOOD MORNING, MISS Y/N! DID YOU SEE THAT? I SKILLFULLY CRACKED THE LOCK! MWEH, IT’S MESSY HERE.” Blue raises his feet and tip toes around the room, trying not to step on papers. You hope to God that those weren’t confidential.

“Good morning. That’s awesome, Blue. Where’d you learn how to do that?”

You take hasty and short steps towards the scattered pieces of paper, picking them up and stuffing them into a nearby drawer. The strange fuzzy feeling in your leg was making your steps stuttering, but it was slowly vanishing.

“I TAUGHT MYSELF OF COURSE!” Blue looks around in the room, setting the plate on your desk.

The skeleton spots the books you dropped earlier and picks them up. He stands on his toes as he tries to return them to the shelf. He couldn’t reach the empty slots.

“MWEH! MWEH!” Blueberry hopped, trying to return one of the heavy books. Sadly, he still couldn’t reach their proper places. It’s too high up.

The adrenaline from earlier was fading away, a small smile blooms on your face as you watch Blueberry’s attempts at helpfulness.

“Cute.” You commented fondly.

“MISS Y/N, PLEASE DON’T CALL ME CUTE! I’M TOO HEROIC TO BE CUTE.” Blue said, a blue haze spreading on his face.

“If you say so. Do you need any help?” you asked.

“NOPE. MWEH. I GOT IT!” Blue insisted, continuing to hop and try to reach out to the empty slots of the shelf.

“Blue, you might hurt yourself.”

“I WON’T! WATCH!”, the skeleton huffed.

Blue jumped a little bit higher, he hung on to the shelf’s dividers, swinging the book into its slot. You walk over and hand him the other books.

“THERE WE GO!”

“Yay. Thanks, Blue.” you smile.

“ANYTIME, FAIR DAMSEL IN DISTRESS!” Blue proudly replied, eyes twinkling at your gratitude.

“Did you make that?” You said, turning your attention to the covered plate Blue brought in.

“SADLY NO, PAPYRUS MADE THAT. HE WENT OUT, AND COOKED FOR YOU FIRST. SO I BROUGHT YOU THE FOOD.” Blue seemed a little crestfallen.

“I see. Better luck next time then.” You said, lifting the cover off the plate. You internally sighed in relief after seeing it isn’t spaghetti.

Now, Papyrus’ spaghettie contained.... Unique properties. There was something about spaghetti that convinced him he had to ‘ABSOLUTELY SQUISH THE ENEMY TOMATOES WITH GREAT FORCE AND PASSION!’ and ‘SPRINKLE GLITTER AS DAZZLING AS YOU!’.

But anything else he cooked was thankfully relatively good.

“Thanks for bringing it here, Blue.” You say, smiling at the skeleton. He returns the smile.

Perhaps gestures like this is making you feel indebted to them. You have to find some way to make it up to them.

So you wouldn’t feel too bad about leaving.

“OH? WHAT’S THIS?” Blue bent down and picked up a small plastic rectangle lying under a table.

You paled.

“... WHOA! I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE THAT OLD MISS Y/N.” Blue commented, looking over the ID.

Despite the impassive look you forced onto your face, your eyes were slightly narrowed. Blue didn’t seem to notice the shift in your behavior though.

 

Which ID is that..?

 

“Blue, may I look at that for a moment?” You asked, inching closer to the skeleton.

Blue inspected the ID, squinting his eyes at it as if it'll give him the answers he wanted.

You can still lie. But you can only hope that the ID was within the average lifespan of a human. You can’t walk around as a 100 year-old and look this young.

Suddenly, the curious look on Blue’s face morphed into a look of realization.

“OH NO! IS THIS WHY YOUR STUDY IS ALWAYS MESSY?!” He looked distressed.

“Um… Sure..?” You furrow your brow.

“MISS Y/N! I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE BUT A HELPLESS HUMAN GRANNY THAT WAS TOO WEAK TO CLEAN UP!”

What.

“… Come again?”

“LOOK,” Blue showed you the front of the ID.

The birth date implied… That you were over 50 years old.

“Uh…” Well, it could be worse. This isn’t too bad. But then again, it’s not like you looked like a granny..

Let’s blame it on the genes this time. Yeah, you just have really good genes that make you look really young!

This wasn't the first time something like this would happen. You would sometimes get careless or someone would be nosy enough to pry into your life. It’s nothing to be shocked about. You already knew what to do in the event that something like this happened.

 

“I’VE BEEN A HORRIBLE HOUSEMATE! I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW YOUR BIRTHDAY! OR WHERE YOU WERE FROM!” Blue wailed in despair.

You can play along.

“Blue, don’t worry! I’m not that old, really.” Yeah, you’re much, much older.

At least Blue isn’t questioning your age too much. Although, would the others do the same?

“WELL, THAT IS TRUE. IN MONSTER STANDARDS YOU’RE NOT THAT OLD. QUEEN TORIEL’S BEEN AROUND SINCE THE WAR! BUT IN HUMAN STANDARDS YOU’RE A GRANNY!”

Huh. How old would you be with your true age in monster standards? You weren't around when the war happened, so you were younger than the queen of monsters.

Trapped in thought and thinking of how you’re going to weasel out of this situation, Blue was already walking away.

“THIS IS NEWS. I MUST TELL THE OTHERS!”

“Oh, Blue, wait!”

And with that, Blue sprinted out of your study and into the hallways. Your arm was left outstretched, reaching out after you called after him.

You didn’t get to make up an excuse or explain.

But then again, ‘Hey guys, I’m actually a few centuries-old human. I can’t die and I’m probably older than all the grandmothers you’ve met all your life.’ is something you'll never allow yourself to tell to just anyone. Surely, you can just lie.

 

* * *

 

Today's Objective: Do things for the skeletons to even out your debts.

Also, Alternative Objective: Find a way to deal with the whole age issue with Blue.

Who should you go to first?

If you were to choose who to approach, it would be either Hoodie or Papyrus. They were the easiest to appease in the house and it probably wouldn't be too hard to do something for them. But since Papyrus was out, according to Blue, you had to settle for finding Hoodie. Content with your choices, you leave your study and walk around.

But it seems as if the universe wanted a say in your decisions. For a different skeleton appeared before you.

As if he had been waiting for a while, Red was leisurely leaning against the wall a few steps ahead of you. He was scowling, as per usual, and looked a little bit irritated.

Maybe if you turn back now, you can just approach him later?

"h-hey, doll." the skeleton turned to your direction and winked. New day, new nickname.

There were beads of sweat on his skull and a slight tinge of red was materializing over his cheeks, he looked nervous.

“Good morning, Red.” You give him a small smile and pass him by. He doesn't follow.

Huh. That went well.

As you made a turn, there was also someone else in that hallway. It was Red, leaning against the wall, again. You look back to see him gone from his previous spot.

He gives you a two-fingered salute but he doesn’t say anything, you raise a brow at his behavior. He looked even more nervous, a little bit more red. His grin was weird and strained, at least it didn’t look predatory.

But nonetheless, you continue walking. Glancing back every so often, behind you, Red had once again disappeared. You feel like you’re being followed, but after a few minutes, you didn’t see Red again.

You take another turn, and still, there was nobody there. Huh.

You shook your head, willing yourself to stop expecting Red to show up. You look through the windows, hoping to spot anyone else, but there was nobody outside.

“h-hey doll, would ya c’mere for a sec.” a familiar voice interrupted your scoping.

You turn to the other side of the hallway to see Red, once again, leaning against the walls. Yeah, he was following you.

“hold out ‘yer hands.” Red ordered, looking away with an irritated expression.

“... Why?” you cautiously eyed him.

“just do it.” the skeleton’s grumbled. His scowl deepened as he dug around his pockets.

You raise a brow at him, but hold out your hands as told.

After a few moments, Red fished out a pill bottle. He held them out for you, saying nothing and looked off to the distance. They're Vitamin C Tablets, for kids?

“... What are these for?” you asked puzzled, examining the bottle. It's strawberry flavored.

“ugh. why d’ya have ta question everythin! they’re vitamins, ya eat ‘em.” Red bit back, refusing to look you in the eye. This is random. Why would Red give you this? Why would he even act so fussy about it?

“Oh! Is this a present? Wow… That’s really kind of you.” You cooed, a saccharine smile spreads across your face.

“‘m not kind.” he growled, the redness on his cheeks growing.

“But you’re literally giving me something. My, I didn’t think we were at that stage of dating yet!” You beamed, feigning excitement.

“fuckin’… we ain’t datin’ ya airhead! jus take th’ stupid fuckin’ berries and be ‘n yer way!” Red fumed, burying his fists further into his jacket.

He shook the pill bottle over your hands. You accept them, cupping it with your palms. How amusing, what would prompt Red to give you something?

You look back at Red who was still standing in front of you. He looked like he wanted to say something, but was conflicted over it.

You stare at the pill bottle, you won’t really benefit from these. Especially if it’s for kids. But it was a gift, you’ll eat them later.

“Thank you.” You smiled at Red.

“whateva.” He burrowed himself deeper into his jacket, his fur lined collar reached half of his face which turned cherry.

Oh. Since he was already here, you might as well cross him off your list, right?

"There’s.. something I also want to ask you, Red." you hesitantly say.

"tch. what? tha’ shit ain’t enough fer ya? give ‘em back then." Red brooded, reaching for the bottle he gave you. But you held it out of his reach. He looked even more annoyed.

"No! I’m keeping this forever as a reminder of our sweet relationship.” you huffed, hugging the bottle. Red looked more irritated, but he stepped back.

“fine.” he grumbled, “whaddaya want?”

You paused, thinking over your next set of words.

“Have I.. Ever owed you anything?" here goes nothing.

That caught the Red’s full attention, his toothy grin grew. The red haze was still there, but he looked less nervous now.

"heheh, 'course ya have." he purred.

Ah, so your theory was correct.

"To even the odds, I’d like to do something to get rid of that debt, whatever it is." Might as well be direct about it.

That weird look on Red’s face is almost making you take back your words. He was still grinning, but there was a mildly disturbing calculative glint to his eyelights. That’s worrying. Red didn’t miss your discomfort.

"hmm.. well i’ll tell ya if there's anything i’d need ya fer." Red turned around and started walking away.

“though i think i’d rather use this against ya some other day.” Red looked over his shoulder, at you. A malicious toothy grin stretched across his face. That is very unsettling.

“maybe i’ll even try ta make it easy fer ya.” Oh, that’s nice of him.

“we wouldn’t want ya to keel over and die of _arthritis_.” Uh, what.

Before you could ask what that meant, you realized that Blue probably told the whole house about how you were a granny. I mean, he technically isn’t wrong. Crap, what can you do about this?

You watch as Red made a turn and disappeared. You’re not sure if it’s relieving to not have to do anything for him right now or if it’s wise to leave things at that.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Not a while later, you found Sans in the laundry room. He was sitting on a stool, lazily slumped against the wall as he read off a joke book. It looks like he might slip off his seat. He had glasses taped to the sides of his skull, his eyelights scanned the book her held. His usually jovial grin was no longer there, was he upset? It's hard to tell. Especially when it's Sans.

You enter the room through the half open door. Sans immediately notices you, the serious look in his faces vanished as if it was never there. Curious.

“heya, kiddo.” Sans said, glancing at you from behind the book he held. He called you ‘kiddo’, maybe Blue hasn’t talked to him yet.

“Whoa. Are you actually doing chores? You??” You think aloud, making your voice slightly louder so that it could be heard over the noise of the dryers.

“heh, nah. paps jus’ told me to watch” Sans droned.

“Oh where is he?” You asked.

“he’s probably out by now. but maybe he’s in his closet.” Sans paused.

“prob'ly trying to de- _wrinkle_ a few shirts there.” his grin grew.

“Aghh no. I just woke up, Sans.” you moaned.

“heheh. can’t handle the _skeletons_ in his closet, eh?” the skeleton’s smile grew bigger. You mirrored it with your own smile, out of habit more than anything really.

“I should go look for him.” You make a move to exit the room, but hesitate and swivel around to face sans again. He gives you a questioning look.

“Actually, while I’m here, I wanted to ask you something.”

“shoot.” Sans slightly lowered the book he held, but he still had his eye lights trained on it’s contents.

“I was wondering if I ever owed you anything, you know. If I had any debt I had to repay?” You asked, the direct approach didn't work on Red, but maybe you’ll have better luck with Sans.

 

The skeleton paused in the middle of flipping a page, thinking over your words. Then again, maybe you’re being too direct. You started to feel self-conscious, but you push that feeling elsewhere. Too late to brood.

 

“well, from my perspective, it's the other way ‘round.” Sans’ eyelights briefly inspect the laundry room,then went back to rest on the pages of the book he held.

“you let us live in this big _old_ mansion after all.” the pun flies over your head.

“The mansion is omitted from debts.” you simply stated.

“uh, well. there’s nothing to worry about then. you might get _grey hairs_ if you overthink things, _kid_.” Sans emphasized the words ‘grey hairs’ and ‘kid’. But his jokes still go unnoticed.

You give Sans a look, you don’t believe him. He shrugs.

“well, if you really insist on payment, you could always listen to my wonderful”, _you mean dreadful,_ “puns.” Sans’ eyelights held a jovial glint.

Well, if it’s that simple...

“Sure.” You agreed, taking a seat on a small but sturdy laundry basket.

The smile on Sans’ face seemed a little bit less tense at your reply.

“are you really _Dent-sure_?” .. Denture?

 

Unfortunately, you can be a little slow when it came to puns. But for the majority of the time, Sans didn't seem to mind that.

“Yup. Joke away.” you wave your hand, signaling him to go on.

“aw gee. didn’t expect ya to actually say yes.” Sans leisurely leaned on his hand. He set his book down on his thigh- er, femur.

“i’ll admit, i’m a lil bit nervous, _kid._ even puns can take a bad turn, i might lose my _forty-_ dude.” .. Fortitude?

Wait a second. Was he doing age puns? You realize he’d been doing that since you walked in. You didn’t say anything, but unbeknownst to you, Sans delighted in how your expression shifted after your realization.

“heh, not even a giggle? i think these jokes are pretty _ageless_.”

 

Yes, he is doing age puns. Blueberry definitely talked with him.

 

You laugh, but it sounded forced.

“not that one either eh? lemme _radio_ a few of my favorites.” Sans, unfazed by your reaction, picks up his joke book and clears his nonexistent throat.

“two bikes walk into a repair shop. one asked for an upgrade while the other one wanted a re _tire_ ment.” okay, that one was a bit better. You let out a genuine laugh.

“heh. made you snort.” Sans’ grin softened at your reaction this time.

“Pff. No, you didn’t.” You deny, but your words were betrayed by a smile that had crept into your face.

“ _WOMAN._ ” came the muffled shout behind the laundry room door.

The door slammed open, Fell marched into the room. As soon as his eyelights landed on you, he gripped your wrist and yanked you off your seat.

“I DEMAND YOU EXPLAIN ABOUT THIS… DEBT YOU SPEAK OF.” Fell demanded, narrowing his eyes at you. Actually, nevermind. His eyes are naturally just like that.

“Oh.. Um..”

A shrill beep sounded, the dryer stopped moving.

“heh. there goes the _old timer_.” Sans moved away from his stool and to the dryer, he took out a shirt and went back to his stool. Looks like he isn’t really doing his chores.

 

Was that… a moving mass of darkness in on it? It’s hard to look at, it’s so dark. What kind of magical detergent do they use? It looks cool, maybe you should try it out later.

You turn to Fell and try to answer his request.

“Well, recently I’ve--”

“ACTUALLY, NO. I DON’T NEED YOUR EXPLANATIONS.” but.. you asked for them earlier??

“COME, YOU SHALL REPAY THE DEBTS YOU OWE ME. LET’S START WITH YOUR DAWDLING. YOU SHOULD HAVE APPROACHED ME EARLIER!”

Fell pulled you out of the room, you glance back at Sans who just gave you a lazy wave.

“So.. what are we doing exactly?” you asked as Fell dragged you around. You jog after him, he was holding your wrist and dragging you along as your arm was bent in an awkward position.

“HAH. YOU MEAN WHAT ARE ‘ _YOU_ ’ DOING. WELL, YOU’RE GOING TO CATER TO MY EVERY WILL AND WHIM OF COURSE!” that doesn’t sound fun.

“And your ‘every will and whim’ is…?”

 

* * *

 

 

 

When you had set out to repay whatever it was you owed to Fell, you expected to be humiliated, ridiculed, and maybe even flayed once or twice. But things aren’t actually that kind of bad.

No, he’s just drawing out your patience. Well, more so than usual.

Here you were, in the garden, dressed in a dainty little apron and a headdress. It was very hot and humid outside. You were gardening with blindingly neon rubber gloves and trying to care for the plants.

 

You’ve been repeating garden-work over and over. Whenever you made a mistake, Tall, Dark, and Stuck-up would order you to start again, from the very beginning.  

 

It didn’t help that he was being extremely nit-picky and was always watching your every move. Fell stood a few feet away from you, watching your every move like a hawk. He’s being eerily silent. A satisfied smirk rested on his face, that sadist.

There was an assortment of gardening tools laid out beside you. Fell didn't even tell you what exactly you needed to do, you learned after he repeatedly mocked your every mistake. You could only guess that he wanted you to take some potted flowers and plant them on the ground.

And he wanted to watch as you get more and more frustrated every time you make a mistake and repeat everything you’ve done from the very stafy. Well, there’s no need to wait for the grass to grow. Sans would have liked that pun.

There was a ridiculous amount of different shovels lined up beside you, small and big. You don’t remember having this many shovels. You choose the right one, the Fell (yelled at) instructed you to use before, to dig up little holes on the ground.

You’re beginning to dislike the sight of nature.

You shook your head at that thought, willing it away. No, you were just tired of Fell's demands. Nature is lovely. Fell and his attitude isn’t.

You pick up on of the flowers and de-root it from it’s pot. You carefully set it down, paranoid that you’ll do something wrong and start over again. You repeat this process until you’ve perfectly transferred about 10 flowers.

You wipe the sweat collecting on the side of your wave away, you had dirt smudged all over your face. A shower would be sooo nice right now. This was getting really tiring and frustrating.

You absentmindedly pat the ground beside you and retrieve a different shovel. It wasn’t the same one you used, but ugh, it’s too hot out to care.

“HA! WRONG SHOVEL, MORON.” Fell pointed out.

“Wha…? Oh for the love of- Fell, don’t you think this is a _little_ bit too over the top?” You huffed, turning to Fell who seemed very much elated that you made a mistake.

“HMM… NO, START OVER.” Ugh!

“What? No way! I’ve been gardening for over an hour now!”

“SO? IS THAT A PROBLEM?” Fell glowered.

“Yes! I’m only human,” sort of. “and I’m dehydrated.”

Fell just rolled his eye lights, handing you a watering can. He was really testing your patience today. You swipe the item from him and turn back to the flowers.

“PATHETIC.  GO WATER MY DAISIES.” Fell crossed his arms.

“Your daisies?” you echo lifelessly, the heat is getting to you.

“YOU MISHEARD!” The skeleton automatically snapped, squeezing his crossed arms closer to himself.

“THEY’RE DEFINITELY NOT MINE! HOW DARE YOU ASSUME I’D OWN SOMETHING SO WEAK, FRAGILE, AND LOVELY!” Fell bellowed.

“Yeah yeah, just please let me finish this so I can take a shower.” You say, leaving things at that.

Despite his denial, you suspect that Fell might like gardening. Maybe you should get him something for it.

… Nahh. That’ll probably prompt him to make you work again. Back to gardening.

You pat the dirt around the mix of flowers. So far so good. You grab the watering can and slightly tip it over, a small stream of water spilled on the plants.

“THAT’S BARELY ENOUGH WATER! YOU’RE DEPRAVING THEM OF SUSTENANCE.” Fell said.

“Oh.” Sorry, little plants.

You slowly and carefully tipped the watering can a little more over the lump of dirt. Attentively making sure you don’t overflood the small bunch of flowers.

“UGH! CAN YOU WATER THEM ANY SLOWER?!” Fell exclaimed, making you violently tip the can.

A good amount of water is spilled onto the small bunch of flowers.

Your soul drops a little but Fell looked like you kicked his puppy. However, that look of despair was quickly replaced by outrage.

“ **_Y/N!!!_** ” Whoa he used your name.

“Aha.. ahaha. Sorry, Fell..” you weakly apologized, bringing your hands closer to your chest. He doesn’t look forgiving.

“APOLOGIZE TO MY DAISIES!” Fell exclaimed.

“Hey, it can’t be that bad-”

“ _APOLOGIZE_!” you flinch, your usual smile turned into an apologetic line.

You turn back to the small bunch of flowers you drowned.

“I.. I’m sorry.” Looking at the muddy soil did make you feel a bit guilty. Those innocent plants.

“YOU’VE HORRENDOUSLY FAILED THIS SIMPLE TASK.” Fell announced.

“Well, I’ve never had to care for plants before.” You defended.

“REALLY? AREN’T ELDERLY HUMANS SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD AT GARDENING?” Fell sneered.

 

Oh, geez. Him too??

 

“One, that is a stereotype. Two, I have better things to do that garden.” Such as trying to avoid pricks like you.

“ _WHAT WAS THAT?!_ ” Fell roared. Whoops, you said that aloud.

“Nothing!” You simply say. Fell didn’t look very pleased at your response.

“YOU’RE TRULY INSUFFERABLE! YOU FAIL IN LIVING UP TO YOUR OWN PATHETIC SPECIES’ STANDARDS. HOW PITIFUL.” Fell said, giving you a condescending look.

“Mocking me won’t make me any better at gardening.” You passively stated, trying to suppress your irritation. You stood up and brushed off the stray blades of grass on your apron.

“Besides, I’m not _that_ old.” you huffed.

“YOU’RE IN DENIAL OF YOUR OWN AGE.” Fell said, smirking like he found one of your deepest woes. Well, it's better than him scowling at you.

“Sure, let’s go with that.” you shrugged.

“NOW. SINCE YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT, I’LL HAVE TO SETTLE FOR HEARING YOU PROFUSELY APOLOGIZE FOR BEING A KLUTZ AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS.” The skeleton said, looking down on you and waiting for you to make a move. His height made him tower over you, you try to stand taller, but he was too tall. He smirked at your feeble attempts at intimidation.

“No way!” You retorted indignantly, brows furrowing in defiance.

“DON’T FORGET YOUR DEBT, WRETCH!” Fell said, making you reconsider your defiance. Ugh.

“No way.” You huffed.

“FINE, BE A CHILD. I GUESS YOU’LL JUST HAVE TO LIVE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE KNOWING YOU OWE ME SOMETHING.” Fell stated, crossing his arms. Your eyes widened.

“No! Ugh, fine.” You give in. A satisfied grin stretched on Fell’s face.

 

You sigh. Well, it’s not like any of this will matter. It’s not a big deal.

 

“Um… I’m sorry? Please forgive me?” You halfheartedly said.

“UGH. THAT’S TERRIBLE, AGAIN.” Fell began to tap his foot on the ground.

“I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” You deadpanned. Your own patience is running thin.

“AGAIN.” _Aaarrgh._

“I’m sorry! Please forgive me.” You tried again, feigning guilt and clapping your hand together.

That seemed to do it for Fell. A red haze started to form on his sharply cut cheeks. Is he mad?

“A-AGAIN.” Fell ordered, his voice disturbed by a stutter. Ugh, what in the world is he trying to do? Degrade you?

Just do it, Y/n. You’ll regret not doing anything later if you don’t do this.

“I’m sorryyy! Please. Forgive me.” You put a little bit more effort into your acting. It was still really forced.

“E-EVEN AT APOLOGIZING YOU FAIL. AGAIN.” Fell's voice was getting more and more high pitched. Your eye twitched.

“What? Do you want me to bow down or something-” You huffed, crossing your arms.

“- YES.” Was Fell’s short and immediate answer. You raise a brow at him, he was cherry red.

“I’m. Sorry. Please. Forgive me.” You deadpanned, tipping your head to a halfhearted bow. This is getting really tiring.

“THAT WAS WORSE THAN LAST TIME! AGA-”

“hey, y/n.”

You could almost hear a choir of angels sing as your savior walked up to you.

“Hoodie! Hello.” You greeted, a little bit of life returned to your tone. The skeleton lazily waved at you.

“GO AWAY, ASHTRAY. GO SPOIL SOMEONE ELSE’S CONVERSATION.” Fell said, the red haze immediately disappeared from his face. He looked irritated again.

“hm, nah. i wanna spoil this one.” Hoodie retorted, grinning.

“this doesn’t even look like a conversation. ‘he giving you any trouble, y/n?” he asked, turning to you.

“Yes.” “NO.”, was the simultaneous answer from you and Fell.

“heh. well. would you mind if I borrowed y/n for a bit?” Hoodie, once again, asked.

“No, not at all.” “YES, NOW GO AWAY." your reply contradicted Fell’s words.

“hm, y/n doesn’t seem to mind. let’s go, y/n.” Hoodie said. You nodded, following after Hoodie.

 

“YOU! COME BACK HERE! WE’RE NOT DONE YE-”

Fell’s voice had been cut short after Hoodie rested a hand on your head, ruffling your hair.

 

Suddenly, you were in the library inside the mansion. Teleportation is so convenient.

“yup. it's much more nicer without yelling.” You nod in agreement.

Hoodie withdrew his hand, letting himself fall into a cushioned chair, legs splayed over the seat’s arm. You take a chair parallel to him, and on the table between the two of you was a cup of tea and a pile of books. It looks like he's been here for a while now. He picked up one of the books and opened it to a seemingly random page.

“hmm, hold on. i can't read without glasses.”

 

Hoodie dug around his pockets, retrieving a weird looking pair of glasses. It was those gag glasses with fake bushy eyebrows and a big nose you’d see at a thrift shop. He adjusted the glasses over his eye sockets. It seemed to be taped to the sides of his skull, it looked a bit silly.

 

“so… you just gonna stare or what?” Hoodie said lightheartedly. You giggle at how odd the glasses looks on him.

“Those look great on you.” you commented with a giggle.

“Should I leave?” You said, rising off your chair. But with a wave from Hoodie, you sat back down.

“nah, stay. i wouldn’t mind the company.”

A silence enveloped the room, but it wasn't uncomfortable at all. You busied yourself with removing your rubber gloves, apron, and headdress. You wipe the mud smeared all over your arms and face with tissue papers on the table before you.

Do skeletons even need tissues? They don’t really have noses. But then again, if Red can drool, you suppose tissue papers were a necessity for them too.

You relax in the silence between you and Hoodie. He knew you well enough that you weren’t as talkative as other people. It was nice.

 

When you leave.. Will you have this kind of silence ever again?

“something on your mind?” Despite having only glanced once or twice at you, Hoodie didn't miss the fleeting look of gloom on your face. Here goes nothing.

“Have I… Ever owed you anything?” You started, trying to sound as neutral as you can.

“Anything at all? A favor, something I forgot, something?” You added.

Hoodie looked confused. This idea seemed better last night. Perhaps it is a little bit too odd for you to suddenly bring this up.

 

Before you could take back your words, hoodie spoke.

“can’t seem to remember anything like that,” He said, a thoughtful look crossing his face.

That can’t be right, were you wrong in your assumption then?

The more you thought, the more you looked ready to malfunction. Hoodie's chuckling brought you out of your thoughts.

“if you’re trying to even some sorta score, there is one thing i’d want you to do.” Hoodie drawled, sitting straighter. From underneath the silly glasses, a light orange haze had spread across his cheeks.

For Fell and Red, a haze meant that they were angry or flustered. For Hoodie.. it seemed to show up when he feels hesitant?

“And that is…?” you trailed, waiting for him to further elaborate.

 

Hoodie murmured something, looking away and stuffing his hands into his pockets again. You furrow your brows, straining your ears to understand him.

 

“Uh, come again?”.

“taking care of yourself would be more than enough.” He said louder, averting his tired-looking gaze. That’s totally not what he said before.

“But I can already do that?” You furrowed your brows.

“hm. really? that doesn’t sound right. not when you let Fell push you around earlier, honey.” Hoodie stated light heartedly, propping his elbows onto his knees and facing you. He was smiling at you playfully, yet lazily.

“I was trying to do something for Fell. And I’m also trying to do something for you, Hoods.”

The look on your face told Hoodie you wouldn’t let up. He sighed.

“well then..” Hoodie opened his arms invitingly.

 

“a hug would do.”

 

“.. A hug?” you repeated to yourself. Hoodie’s lazy grin turned into a teasing smirk.

“you ask fell for hugs a lot.” You didn’t miss the oddly cold look that his eye sockets had, it was a noticeable contrast with the silly glasses he wore. But it disappeared before you could properly observe it.

“so i figured that if he won’t take you up on those offers, i should.” Hoodie said.

“unless you don’t want to-”

“- Sure.” No need to complicate things, this was simple.

 

Hoodie raised a brow at your quick reply, but shrugged.

“It’s just a hug.” You state, hesitantly opened your arms and willing a patient smile to your face.

Hoodie stared at you, as if he was trying to read you. Are you being too direct? You will an impassive look onto your face. Maybe you shouldn't have answered so suddenly.

“heh. better put you out of your misery then.” He chuckled.

Within a second, something warm and soft wrapped around you. Your face gently collided with Hoodie’s torso, a warm orange colour ruled your vision. You tensed, but relaxed, wrapping your arms around him.

 

This is... surprisingly pleasant. Maybe you should ask for hugs more often.

 

But damn, Hoodie’s like a pillow.

 

Soon, your hesitance was overruled by curiosity after you felt something under Hoodie’s clothes. It felt like ribs or a spine, but it was like there was flesh on his torso as well. None of the skeletons you knew had flesh- or so it seems.

While you did tease Fell and offered him hugs, you never actually hugged him. He’d probably impale you. The only other person you’ve hugged was Papyrus. That skeleton was a hugger, he’d often greet people with hugs- he’d greet you with hugs. But you’d often bonk your head on his armor, and his tight embrace bearly suffocated you in several of occasions.

You refrain from doing anything stupid and violating, it would be _really_ intrusive if you poked around under his shirt.

But overall, this is kinda nice.

The hug, unfortunately, didn’t last long. The warmth left you, an unpleasant feeling of disappointment pooled in your chest. Hoodie pulled away and stepped back, you mirrored his action.

“You’re actually really huggable.” You hummed, smiling at him. Your cheeks still felt warm. You almost wished that you could hug him longer.

“heh. ‘guess i am.” Hoodie shifted on the spot, the orange color on his face turned brighter at your words.

Well, that’s that. Moving on then.

“I should go now. Bye, Hoodie.” You bid him farewell.

You turn back to leave, but stop when a skeletal hand reached out and brushed against your wrist.

You face Hoodie again with a questioning look.

“Oh, did you want something else?” You tilt your head to the side. Was the hug not enough?

Hoodie looked like he was lost in thought. You can’t take him seriously with those glasses. But you suppress the urge to giggle, it would be rude to suddenly laugh. The skeleton withdrew his hand and waved at you dismissively.

“heh. didn’t know i did that. see ya later then.” Hoodie said, the usual lazy look on his face overshadowing the orange haze.

You nodded, giving him a final smile before leaving the room.

 

As soon as the door closed behind you, Hoodie sat back down. A flustered look crossed his features as he reclined into the chair.

“hoohh boy. that happened.” Hoodie brought a hand over his warm face. A mix between a goofy smile and a nervous grin was plastered onto his face.

 

* * *

 

 

 

It wasn’t hard to find to Blue. Whenever you followed the clanking noises that echoed somewhere on the third floor, you’d find him tinkering with puzzles by himself.

 

You entered one of the spare rooms, it was devoid of furniture. The only thing in it was a huge puzzle cube that was more than half your size. It was propped up by a metal stand that Blue seemed to be adjusting. The clanking noises came from the cube, when Blue would move it a section of it. He was just putting the last set of tiles into place, the cube was already solved.

 

“Hey, Blue.” You greeted, walking closer to the cube.

“MISS Y/N! GREAT, YOU’RE HERE- COME CHECK OUT MY NEWEST PUZZLE!” He beamed, excitedly bouncing up and down.

“Is that a giant Rubik's cube?” That’s impressive.

“YES! I HEARD A HUMAN UNIVERSITY HAD ONE OF THEM. SO I DECIDED TO MAKE MY OWN GIANT RUBY CUBE!"

“Rubik’s cube.” You correct.

“RUBY CUBE SOUNDS BETTER!” Blue insisted.

“Perhaps it does.” you flash him a small smile.

“ALTHOUGH, IT’S NOT AS BIG AS THE VERSION I SAW ONLINE. DO YOU WANNA TRY SOLVING IT?” Blue looked up to you, eyelights sparkling with expectation.

“Sure, it looks challenging.”

 

You walked up to the giant cube and try to move it, it was just as heavy as it looked like. But Blue didn't seem to have any troubles with moving it. He scrambled the perfect color combinations he made, making the cube look random.

You can’t remember the last time you solved one of these. You look at the different and randomly patterned tiles, they were larger than the size of your hand.

You twist a section of them, it was heavy. Can Blue really solve this? This takes a lot of strength.

 

"DON'T GIVE UP YET MISS Y/N! IT'S FUN, IT REALLY IS!" Blue encouraged.

You only hum in response and heave, pushing the heavy blocks into where you want it to go. You weren’t really putting effort into it, but it would be polite to humor Blue.

 

So, you have two things to discuss with Blue. One is debt, one is age.

 

Perhaps you can change your approach. He will most likely ask you to do a hundred different things with him if you offer to do something for him. Blue likes puzzles right? Maybe you can get him a puzzle? One he’d like? Hmm.. that sounds alright.

 

You choose to discuss the age issue with Blue.

 

“Hey, Blue. Did you tell others that I’m… a grandma?” You hesitantly started. That question was just so silly.

“INDEED I DID, FAIR DAMSEL.” Blue beamed proudly.

“WELL, I HAVEN’T SEEN PAPYRUS OR MY BROTHER ALL DAY. I HAVEN’T TOLD THEM.” Blue added.

“Hoodie was in the library.” You said.

“OH! WE MUST HAVE MISSED EACH OTHER blue mused.

 

“Hey Blue, doesn’t my age bother you?”, you ask.

“NOPE!” Blue said, giving you a reassuring smile.

“AGE DOESN’T REALLY MATTER IN MONSTER CULTURE. REALLY, THE ONLY WAY TO TELL APART KIDS FROM ADULTS ARE STRIPES!”

“Stripes? Hmm, now that you mentioned it, I’ve only ever seen monster children wear striped shirts.” You mused. You pushed a row of tiles to the upper face of the cube. Annoyingly, there was one differently colored tile on the very middle of that face.

 

“BUT I WAS SURPRISED TO KNOW YOU WERE THAT OLD MISS Y/N!” 

“Really? I suppose I do look too young.” So it wasn't weird for monsters after all. That's relieving. Although, being called a grandma was a tad bit strange. Hah, says the century-something year old.

 

You really don’t know what you’re doing with the rubik’s cube. You step back to stare at it, lightly twirling and tugging at your hair. But you were more interested in other things.

So, it’s possibly that you were nearly the same age as the skeletons. That thought is somehow.. pleasant. It’s nice to know you’re somehow not alone in this age-boat. That thought made a little smile form on your face.

 

You’re starting to have second thoughts about leaving.

 

You stop moving the rubik’s cube to shake your head, willing those thoughts to disappear. The little smile on your face also disappeared. You can’t afford to break your routine.

“IS SOMETHING THE MATTER, MISS Y/N?” Blue asked, inspecting the puzzle.

“WOAH! YOU’RE ALMOST DONE WITH IT.” He announced.

“Uh, really?” You squinted, the color patterns were still not arranged properly.

“WELL. NO. I MAY HAVE EXAGGERATED.” Blue admitted.

“YOU’RE NOT THAT CLOSE TO BEING DONE. UM, PRETTY FAR FROM DONE ACTUALLY.” He added.

You let out a bashful laugh, lightly tugging at your own hair.

“Is that so?

 

Nothing eventful happened after that. You didn’t finish the puzzle but offered to do a more simple one with him earlier. You’ll have to write a note to remind yourself to get him something later.

 

You spent the next hour or so in a different spare room, watching as the sky turned from blue to a mix of orange, pink, and purple.

 

Despite having done something for the skeletons, you can’t help but still feel an unpleasant burden in your chest. You try to ignore it as you watch the sun disappear.

 

You arrived at the dining room for dinner. The skeletons were already there, chatting amongst themselves. Papyrus wasn’t there yet. As soon as you entered, they hushed up, some casting you glances. You raise a brow at their behavior.

“LET ME GET THAT FOR YOU, MISS Y/N! HOW ARE YOU?” Blue asked, pulling up your chair for you.

“Thank you, Blue. I’m.. As good as ever?” You answer unsurely.

“OH NO! DOES THAT MEAN YOUR BUNIONS ARE HURTING AGAIN??” Blue stressed. What?

“What makes you think that my.. Bunions are hurting?” You asked. Your puzzled expression gained a few chuckles from Sans and Hoodie.

“I HEARD FROM DR. ALPHYS THAT HUMANS GET PAINS ALL OVER THEIR BODY THE OLDER THEY GROW. DOESN’T THAT MEAN YOU’RE ALSO HURTING? AS EVER??”

“My… Bunions don’t hurt right now. Thanks for asking?” They're still fussing over the age issue.

“heh, i was the last to hear the news.” Hoodie stated, taking a swig off his honey bottle.

“tha’s ‘cuz ya napped tha day away at tha library. don’t complain.” Red rolled his eyes.

“i wasn’t complaining.” Hoodie said, drinking from his honey bottle.

“BROTHER! YOU SHOULD EAT FIRST BEFORE CONSUMING THAT ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE!” Blue scolded. How do you spike honey with alcohol?

At some point in their banter, everybody started to eat.

 

An uncomfortable silence envelops the dining room. No one's saying a word, did you do something weird? Should you ask? Only the clattering of spoons and forks could be heard. Even Fell and Blueberry was quiet.

If they were uncomfortable, they'd most likely say something instead of being silent. You choose to mimic their silence.

 

“GREETINGS, FRIENDS!” Oh thank god, somebody spoke. It was getting awkward.

Everybody turned to the doorway where Papyrus stood.

“I’M BACK FROM CRUISING AROUND THE MONSTER DISTRICT!” Papyrus walked closer to the table. You mirror his bright smile with a small one of your own.

“Ah, so that’s why you weren’t here all day.” You thought aloud.

“MISS Y/N! I MISSED YOU!” Papyrus walked over to you and scooped you up for a bone-crushing hug.

“Gkk! Uh- I- I can’t breathe.” You choke out, feeling air being squeezed out of you.

“hey bro.” Sans greeted.

“BROTHER! DID YOU WATCH THE LAUNDRY?” Papyrus placed you down back on your seat and went to sit by Sans. You can breathe again.

“maybe.”

“SANS!”

“heheh. jus’ kidding. i did.”

“GOOD! WE’LL CONTINUE TO WORK ON YOUR LAZINESS.” You smile at their light-hearted exchange.

 

The dinner continued, the weird silence disappeared after Papyrus came. He doesn't seem to do well in staying silent, so there was a conversation was always going.

You watched as they interacted,eating your food.

 

“MISS Y/N, I HEARD VITAMINS WERE GOOD FOR THE ELDERLY! DID RED GIVE YOU ANY?” Papyrus beamed, turning to you.

 

“WHAT. WHY WOULD MY RESENTFUL BROTHER EVEN GIVE ANYONE ANYTHING. RIDICULOUS.” Fell narrowed his eyes at Red.

“hah, y-yeah boss.” The shorter skeleton looked nervous.

 

“Yeah, I can’t imagine Red doing something nice.” You say. Red looked at you as if you’d saved his life. You smile at him, then he looks away and mumbles something to himself. He didn’t look mad or scared though, that’s something.

 

“I’LL GO FIND YOU VITAMINS AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, MISS Y/N!” Blue offered.

“DON’T BE SUCH A SUCK UP, THE WOMAN WON’T NEED THEM.” Fell said.

“watch your tongue, fell.” Hoodie warned.

“OR WHAT, ASHTRAY?” Fell crossed his arms, glaring at Hoodie.

“COME NOW, FRIENDS. THERE’S NO NEED TO LOOK AT EACH OTHER WITH NON-FRIENDLY THREATENING GAZES. LOOK AT POOR MISS Y/N, HER BLOOD PRESSURE MUST BE RISING OVER WATCHING YOU TWO.” Papyrus chimed in. You giggle.

“He’s right, oh no, my poor human heart.” you dramatically clutched at your chest.

“OH NO! ARE YOU SUFFERING FROM CARDIE-AC ARREST?” Blue shouted.

“It’s ‘cardiac arrest’, and no. I’m alright.” You corrected.

“WEBMD HAS LIED THEN.” Papyrus’ eyes turned shifty.

“BUT WE ARE GLAD YOU’RE OKAY, FRIEND!” His smile can be so innocent.

 

You say nothing and smile back. Dinner continues without any other incidents.

 

However...

 

Sans, Hoodie, and Red watched as their brothers interacted with each other. Similarly, they were lazily poking at their food. Those three were something to be worried about. 

 

"can't believe yer that old, doll." Red commented. "heh, whateva. i don't discriminate- cougars can be jus as interestin." 

"Attractive." you deadpanned, shuddering as Red licked his fork.

"no, but seriously. are you really that old?" Hoodie asked. 

"Hoods, you'd know better than to ask a girl her age." You lightly chastised, refusing to answer him directly.

A beat of silence passed between the three of you. 

 

They may not look like it, but these three can be sharp and inquisitive. 

 

"heh yeah, Hoods." Sans added. "Let the subject  _retire_." he quipped.

 

A chorus of groans and chuckling erupted in the dining room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Silly Red. Vitamins won't work that way. Especially since it's for kids, not for centuries-old readers. =D
> 
> I hope you all have a nice day/evening!

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a few years since I've published anything I've written. But I feel excited for this! 
> 
> This story is inspired by the following works:  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/9816140/chapters/22041383, Skeleton Squatters and the Landlady by Tyrant_Tortoise  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/7124200/chapters/16181881 and other works by RaccoonSinQueen  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/6243832/chapters/14305867 by Arcial  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/10141124/chapters/22540553 by Victorine Lily  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/7206815/chapters/16352612 by DittoKiddo
> 
> Those are just my inspiration off the top of my head- there's others.


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